How to overcome strong sexual desires?

Written By Addittya Tamhankar

You have asked a very beautiful question. One need tremendous courage to ask such a deep question – it is also a sign that you are coming closer to the state of Awareness.

This Human Body is the whole galaxy – the whole universe. The ancient seers addressed this human body as “AHAM BRAMHASMI” – meaning “I am the whole universe.” All the planets and stars and houses of the horoscope are WITHIN you. You are NOT a part of the UNIVERSE. The whole Universe is a part of you!

Each person – I, you and everybody else is a WHOLE. Einstein calls this Universe as WHOLE. Each individual is a GALAXY (GRAH MANDAL) in itself!

And so when you CONNECT PHYSICALLY or have SEX with a WOMAN – her GALAXY (Planet karmic vibrations) get entangled with YOURS!

That is why ‘marriage union’ (Sexual union) is done after evaluating the planet placement of both individuals- because SEX brings TWO GALAXIES (two individuals) together – through the actual ACT of SEX – a GREAT MIXING of ENERGIES happens. And if both the GALAXIES are in HARMONY – only then the SEXUAL UNION or in other words ‘Marriage’ succeeds! The ancient seers therefore came up with the GUN-MILAN practice – but along with GUN MILAN there are many other aspects that need to be considered for the marriage to manifest.

But it happens many times that you are attracted towards a woman – and then where is the time to get into the astrology calculations? You simple get into the BED with her and then – the next morning you start visiting Astrologers – asking if you can MARRY the woman with whom you are having a relationship! What is the use? The MIXING – the MELTING has already happened – the amalgamation of TWO GALAXIES have already happened leading to an energy that will either MAKE your life or BREAK your life!

But people don’t get it. They think ONLY marriage matters – in reality every SEXUAL ENCOUNTER matters – because every time you are sleeping or having sex with a woman – her whole planetary energies – her whole GALAXY is melting in your GALAXY – every SEXUAL ACT is indeed a MARRIAGE – it may NOT be official but it is in the true sense – a transfer of energies – a coming together of ENERGIES!

There was a young man – he was a happy man. Then he was attracted towards a beautiful woman – and he became so infatuated towards that woman that he just got into an intense relationship with her and then his time started changing for GOOD. He started getting promotions and a lot of success and he was such a happy man – they were like love birds – happy, jolly and full of life!

Then one day they broke up. For break-up – any reason is good enough. So they broke up.

They never met again – the ‘sexual connection’ was broken forever – the BREAKUP was REAL. It was OFFICIAL.

But life goes on – after one story end a new story beings, after one sentence ends, a new sentence begins – the ending is the beginning….

And so the man soon found a new love interest – a new woman – more beautiful, more sexy, more attractive than the previous…..

And then soon began the intense relationship…, sex and fun…..

Life is sailing smoothly…..the cuddling, the love, the outings, the sex – everything was going well – but slowly slowly they both started realizing that their careers are not on the rise!

With the arrival of this new woman – this new love interest – his whole life came tumbling down! He got into more and more loss, he became a restless man – there was enough sex, enough pleasures of bed – but nothing was happening on his career front – he was getting into more and more debts!

But this situation was not just limited to his life. The woman who was having relationship with him, sexual relation – she also got into many troubles – her career was also not finding any luck. In fact she was doing well before she had fallen in love with this man!

So you see – when TWO GALAXIES (individuals) come in sexual contact – and if their GALAXY OF PLANETS don’t compliment each other – then both suffer – both go through many miseries – many turmoils.

One day Mohan asked “But why man cannot control his sexual urge?”

The answer is “Because the body is weak – the mind is quick to get attracted towards a certain woman – the mind by nature is SEXY.”

Through many of my sharing and answers – I have again and again mentioned that the MIND (MOON) is highly SEXUAL by nature. In the affairs of the human life – therefore the MOON CHART is of great significance – because HAPPINESS is based on the state of your MIND (MOON) – and so MOON CHART is the most important CHART of all CHARTS!

Many meditative beings and spiritual beings- at some stage get the kind of SEXUAL URGE that you have mentioned in your question – and I would say that this is very NATURAL.

One has to first ACCEPT the fact that SEX exists within you and it is SEX through which you are born! So the very idea that SEX is BAD and SEX must be condemned should be dropped in totality.

History has been witness to the fact that during the Mahabharata era – SEX was celebrated, respected and NOT condemned the way it has been condemned in the modern times!

It is human psychology – the more you are NOT willing to ACCEPT – the more you consider something as BAD – the more you FIND it difficult to overcome!

So when SEXUAL URGE comes – just OBSERVE it – just BE A WITNESS. You will feel the breathing becoming heavier – because whenever you feel sexual urge – the first IMPACT is on the breathing! The URGE comes to the MIND – the MIND instructs the BRAIN – the BRAIN instructs your sexual organ – and the sexual organ is activated! You see – it is all interlinked – it is all ‘connected’ – from astrology point of view – MIND (MOON) – BRAIN (MERCURY) – SEXUAL ORGAN (VENUS) – and the ACTUAL ACT OF SEX is administered by MARS (ENERGY)!

So whenever SEXUAL URGE comes – you have to understand that it is the MIND – the MOON!

And if you are DRIVEN by your MIND – then you will FALL FOR THE TEMPTATION – then you may get into the actual act of SEX!

BUT if you are a meditative being – if you are rising above your MIND – then you will simply WATCH the play of the MIND – you will simply WITNESS – WATCH and NOT ACT on the fantasies and the sexual urge that the monkey MIND brings on.

You can WATCH, you can WITNESS – this POWER and this STRENGTH can come to you – only when you start MEDITATING – when you start RISING ABOVE THE MIND – when you start coming CLOSER to the state of CONSCIOUSNESS.

A old friend who was also a meditative being and practicing CELIBACY – once asked me “Addittya, why at time I get very sexually aroused – as if I really WANT sexual pleasure?”

I said “ Because the ENERGY has always been used to FLOW DOWNWARDS!”

You see – from many past lives – the ENERGY (MARS) has always been used to FLOW DOWNWARDS! So when TOO MUCH OF ENERGY is ACCUMULATED – the ENERGY by default wants to move downwards – and then the body knows only ONE WAY to release the accumulated SEXUAL ENERGY – and that through the ACTUAL ACT OF SEX – through SEDUCING – through Love Making!

And so the REAL THING – the REAL CHALLENGE is to DIVERT – to DIRECT the accumulated ENERGY UPWARDS and not DOWNWARDS!

That is what a YOGI does – a REAL YOGI is perfectly AWARE of this beautiful but rarest of rare technique – and this happens only by the GRACE of the benevolent master – who guides the disciple to move the energy UPWARDS and not DOWNWARDS.

The MIND that gives birth to the SEXUAL URGE – knows only ONE PASSAGE – only ONE WAY – the way towards the sexual organ (Downward)! It has become a HABIT from many births and rebirths – that is how many spiritual seekers are TRAPPED – because they CANNOT control the ENERGY – it is TOO MUCH – it is TOO HOT – and the only PASSAGE that it knows is the PASSAGE towards SEX – that is the only way it can RELEASE the ENERGY and then once the ENERGY is RELEASED – you feel LOW – you feel relaxed – you feel tired. The ENERGY is GONE! You are BACK to ZERO – and this how many spiritual seekers keep going back and forth – until a day comes – when the divine master with HIS GRACE and HIS BLESSINGS help the poor man – come out of his old habit – the habit of letting the ENERGY pass downwards!

One has to overcome SEX – and NOT SUPPRESS SEX. Understand this – this is of great significance. And you can overcome SEX – only when you have had enough of sex! That is the reason why the ancient seers and the religions have encouraged MARRIAGES – because through MARRIAGE – SEXUAL UNION is possible – SEX can be experienced. The MARRIAGE is a official version to have SEX. The unofficial version is affairs and relationships! No matter what way you choose – always remember unless and until you have had enough experience of SEX – there is absolutely NO WAY OUT.

Those who have born and never had sex – are rare examples of souls who have had enough of sex in their past life – that now that ‘part’ is close to NOWHERE – NIL – in their life.

One has to remember that Gautama Buddha also had a good marital life when he was the Prince – Prince Siddhartha!

This human world is filled with majority of HYPOCRITES – those who will say ‘Ram Ram’ in the morning and will have all kinds of sexual pleasures when the night falls!

The real MASTER is one who speaks boldly about SEX – about his own sexual experiences – he is the ONE – and I had met not one – but two such REAL MASTERS – they were so great with such a great YOGIC POWERS – and yet they were so humble so lovely – so sweet! And they used to like me – they used to share their past life experiences with me- and many devotees would be present and they knew that the MASTER is saying it OPENLY because there is absolutely NOTHING TO HIDE! Only a man of heart – PURE HEART – only a man of awareness – only a man who has GONE BEYOND can share so much OPENLY – today both of them are no more in this human world – but wheresoever they are – I know – they are WATCHING ME closely. I humbly prostate in their fond memory.

One of the two masters – once shared his real life story. He said “ I was born in a very rich family. My father was a very famous political leader of my town. And I was the only son – and so I always had a bodyguard to protect me. I must be 18 yrs old – and it was a hot afternoon and I was having tea at a tea stall – when I saw an old man – he must be YOGI because he was half naked and there was something about this old man – suddenly he came to me and said “ Shridhar – could you please show me the way towards the Mayor of the town – I want to meet him.”

I said “ How come you know my name?”

The old Yogi smiled. His smile was so sweet – it moved me from within. The Yogi said “ I know you – but you don’t know me. Now show me the way towards the mayor’s home.”

I said “ The mayor is my father. Come – I will guide you…I will show you the way….”

Hardly did I know that the man to whom I was showing the way – will one day show me the way towards the BEYOND – the unseen – the GOD experience!

And so when we reached home and the door was opened – I was shocked! Because inside the house the SAME OLD YOGI was seen – sitting and talking with my family!

Beside me was the old Yogi and inside the house also the same Yogi – I was so scared that I ran into my room. But somewhere I realized that this old man is someone SPECIAL!

And so that night when the old man was alone in our guest room – I went and sat next to his feet. The old man was in his bliss – his eyes were open but it appeared to me that he was in deep meditation….

After a while – the old man spoke – he said “ What do you want from me?”

I was 18 and I had intense desire of having sex and many girlfriends – in fact during that time – I was behind one girl – she was so beautiful that I just wanted her – and so I said “ Baba – I want to have one girl – I am mad about her.”

And to this request – the ANSWER that BABA gave to me – is what CHANGED my whole life.

Baba looked deeply into my eyes and said “ Shridhar – how beautiful – how wonderful it can be if you become MAD for GOD!”

THOSE WORDS – THOSE FEW WORDS CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE. I DROPPED EVERYTHING – and I became MAD for GOD – my quest for GOD grew day by day and then there was NO LOOKING BACK – after 21 years – finally I attained – this is all HIS GRACE – HIS BLESSINGS – HIS LOVE – the old man who asked the address of my house – but eventually showed me the REAL ADDRESS OF GOD!

My eyes became wet – SHRIDHAR BABA – the divine master’s eyes also became wet – LIFE TRULY CAN TRANSFORM – LIFE TRULY CAN BE A MIRACLE – LIFE IS MIRACLE!

At the age of 82 – SHRIDHAR BABA left his mortal body – just yesterday I received a call from his ASHRAM, due to lockdown, I couldn’t see him at his last moment.

Shridhar Swami used to say – that I had immense pleasure of bed – I was mad for woman – but a day came – when I met the old man – and the old man – the divine master CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE towards LIFE – and when PERSPECTIVE Changes – LIFE CHANGES for GOOD!

For 42 years – Shridhar Swami cured many diseases and performed many miracles – many villages within Maharashatra worshipped him – can you imagine – how 360 degree lifecan change with just a change in perspective – with the divine intervention of the compassioante master!

I met His Holiness Shridhar Swami in 2008 – then our bonding grew – what a beautiful person – a lovely human being he was! He belonged to royal family – and yet he lived like a FAKIR! He left everything – he renounced all his property and wealth but he never left HUMANITY – Hindu or Muslim, Brahmin or Kshatriya – everybody was welcome and everybody was treated with SAME LOVE – SAME RESPECT.

He is one REAL EXAMPLE of the journey from SEX to SUPER CONSCIOUSNESS!

His father was a great politician – and when his father was admitted to hospital – the other politicians would visit his father and then they would say “ You spend your whole life in folding hands to get VOTES – but your SON – Shridhar is indeed such a great SAINT that people fold hands to receive HIS blessings!”

Such is the TRANSFORMATION – such is the GRACE of the DIVINE MASTER – that a BHOGI (pleasure seeking man) can TRANSFORM into a YOGI (God seeking man)!

I meet many spiritual seekers – 99% are just failures! A man who was on spiritual path – fell in love with a young woman – and then he was in a deep sexual relationship with that woman and then he calls me and says “ I am a Swami and I am opening soon a Ashram”.

Now what to say – all kind of men – all flavors of people I have seen – but at the end of the day – if my eyes become wet then that is in the fond memory of the compassionate master – HE wants me to meet as many people as I can – SO THAT I UNDERSTAND how deeply misguided and hypocrite this human world is!

You have asked a question – that is worth appreciating – because rarely people have the courage to ASK SOME REAL QUESTIONS RELATED TO SEX and SEXUALITY – it is said that a man is judged by the QUESTIONS he ask – you are asking a very sensitive and yet very deep question – I thank you and also congratulate you – because I could see that you are on the right track – a man who asks the RIGHT QUESTION is always on the RIGHT TRACK – and a man who has absolutely NO QUESTION left to ASK – has gone beyond the TRACK – he is on his JOURNEY towards the unseen – the unknown – the beyond!

From Questions to NO QUESTIONS. From SEX to SUPER CONSCIOUSNESS. FROM BHOGI to YOGI – that is the REAL TRANSFORMATION. Real transformation is inside-out!

Do not worry about your sexual urge – in fact the more one becomes spiritual the more is the sexual energy – but one has to remain AWARE – CONSCIOUS to NOT to let this precious SEXUAL ENERGY to flow downwards – but to channelize it upwards through deep meditation.

It is a CHALLENGE in the beginning – it is a DIFFICULT PATH in the beginning – because tremendous sexual urge comes at the most strange moments – but that is how the MASTER tests you – that is how GOD tests you – the ‘disciple’ is TESTED before he is put to real work – the real ‘journey’! Many think that the moment they become meditative the journey has began – it hasn’t – even if you attain all your CHAKRAS it hasn’t – it begins only when you have overcome the SEXUAL URGE – when you have learned the ART OF DEFEATING the TEMPTATIONS – and this happens only through the GRACE of the divine master – and the GRACE of the divine master comes only when you have deep UNCONDITIONAL SELFLESS LOVE and DEVOTION towards HIM – only then the ‘river’ starts flowing towards you – only than HIS ‘light’ starts showering upon you and then there is NO looking back – the road is clear and you are ready to WALK….

Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru. 🙏

Love to all my readers and followers.

Addittya Tamhankar

Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar is a distinguished astrologer and acclaimed author known for his in-depth knowledge and insight into astrology. He has authored over 11 books, including bestsellers on the cosmic entities Rahu and Ketϋ, and his recent works include "Come Back Home - Reconnect to Source Consciousness" and "27 Nakshatras - the Living Legends." Alongside his literary achievements, Acharya Addittya has cultivated a substantial online following, with over 1,000 YouTube videos and a community of more than 40,000 subscribers. His blogs offer enlightening discussions on spirituality and planetary influences, drawing readers and viewers who seek wisdom and deeper understanding of these complex subjects.
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