Why people love someone and marry someone else, is it because of karma?


Sex and Love are two polarities. When there is LOVE there is no idea of sexuality. When there is SEX there is no feeling of Love.

This is deep but before we dive in let us first revisit the basics.

The ancient Sanskrit Scriptures mentions a very beautiful verse – अहं ब्रह्मास्मि – ‘Aham Bramhasmi’ meaning I am the Universe.

In simple words – the whole universe is within me.

One of the greatest Sufi Saint – Rumi also relates to the shared TRUTH of our Sanskrit scriptures – when he quotes:

So it is natural that all the planets and stars and the energies that they vibrate – is also within us – within each of us.

So all kinds of energies that are on the outside – Divine, Pleasure seeking, Harmful – all kind of energies are within us – there is nothing on the outside – it is all an inside game!

And so it is necessary to first understand where and how exactly the energies of certain planets operate within our body.

Since the question is about sex and love, let us first understand how the whole sexual act manifests through the play of planetary energies.

MARS operates through the sexual organ.

A young man once asked “But from where does the sexual urge comes and how it comes?”

It is a deep question. Have you all anytime questioned yourself – from where does the sexual urge comes? Only if you are living with consciousness than such a deep question can arise within your being!

The sexual urge comes from the MIND. The MIND sends the ‘signal’ to the BRAIN. The BRAIN functions and processes the signal to your sexual organ and than the actual sexual act executes – and it all happens within a fraction of seconds.




So for just one action to complete – three planetsare in play – but yet the action is not complete – it completes only when VENUS comes in play and where is VENUS?

VENUS is in your SPERM (if you are a Male) and VENUS is directly related to you fertility and periods (if you are a FEMALE).

So you see just for one complete act of sex whose goal may be to attain sexual pleasure or along with pleasure attain pregnancy – whatever may be the goal, but 4 major planets energies are required – so the point is that no single planet can deliver a certain result. It always takes a whole combination of planets to deliver – to deliver a certain result.

Manifestation of your wishes is possible with COLLECTIVE energies of specific planets.

MIND is by nature sexual – BHOGI.

A YOGI lives in the state of NO MIND. So the question of SEX never arise in his being! As long as you are enslaved by your MIND – as long as you remain a slave of your MIND – you remain in the trap of sexual desires – the moment you slip out of MIND – you experience LOVE – pure love – with absolute no idea or thoughts of SEX!

My newly published book – NO MIND is now available worldwide on Amazon sites and it specifically emphasis on the futility of MIND and how life can become a garden of bliss the moment you take efforts to reach from MIND to the state of NO MIND.

You all can avail a copy for yourself. I am certain that to insightful individuals, this book will prove to be a great motivator. The book is now available on Amazon and Flipkart.

People want children. They want to become father and mother. But they miss to understand that just having a good fifth house or bad fifth house lordship does not conclude.

For that the whole picture has to be seen in TOTALITY.

When a childless couple tries to have children they fail miserably. The focus is on having sex – just sex. Love is missing!

Understand this. This is deep. You can either LOVE or either have SEX. LOVE and SEX cannot go hand in hand – LOVE is of the heart. SEX is of the MIND. When you are deeply in love – you just penetrate – two bodies become one – at that moment there is absolutely NO IDEA of having sex – it is just like two flames merging with each other!

The idea of sex is of the MIND. The feeling of love is of the HEART.

SEX is not a problem – not even a question – when there is love. You don’t even realize the fact that you are doing SEX – because there is LOVE!

But when there is just the goal of having SEX – suddenly you become alert – now the question of ‘performance’ comes – now the question of ‘duration’ comes – now many questions arise which would never arise when you are deeply in love – when in love all the actions happen on its own – naturally – the MIND has absolutely NO ROLE to play – the HEART is in action and the HEART knows nothing of ‘techniques’ or ‘duration’ – it just goes on and on – until the highest peak of ‘sexual bliss’ is attained!

You can make love when you are in love – and when you are in love there is absolutely no idea of sex in the mind – you just attain to highest peak of sexual bliss – orgasm – without putting any special efforts – any special techniques!

SEX is NOT the function of the HEAD. Understand this. But when SEX enters in through the head it becomes sexuality. Then you THINK about sex, then you fantasize about sex. And then you have lost yourself – because now you are not living in the REAL world – you are lost in your MIND – and the MIND makes sure that you become more miserable than you already are!

LOVE and SEX are two polarities. Love can liberate you from SEX – but it is a long journey and the most wonderful journey you will ever be on!

A young man married a handicapped woman. They never had much of sex, but that never made them fall apart – because the depth of LOVE was so much – that SEX was not at all a question in their life!

LOVE can liberate you from SEX.

Love is the creative refinement of sex energy.

We all have sex energy within us – this energy is of MARS. All men and all women who attained the highest state of spiritual enlightenment had sex energy within them – but than what did they do with it – they transformed this sexual energy into the highest spiritual energy. But how did they do it?

And the answer is in simple words. These great men and women did not FIGHT against their sex energy – they did NOT repress or suppressed it – they did NOT try to condemn it – instead they tried to understand it – the way of its working – from where does it come – why it comes and how it can be transformed.

The word is ‘UNDERSTAND’ – and how can you understand – only when you don’t hate this energy that is in its lower form – rather you accept it, and then you transform this energy into – higher love.

SEX is possible just for fun. For pleasure. BUT Love is intense. Love is very intense – Love is not fun, in fact Love is something that only a courageous person can dare to do! To love – tremendous courage is required – one is willing to drop everything just for the sake of LOVE!

Understand the fact that SEX is an act. Love is a very intense feeling. And so you cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence couragecomes first and everything else follows.

Life can be sacrificed to Love BUT Love cannot be sacrificed to Life.

Love is of higher value than life. There is divinity, there is joy, when you live for someone, when you die for someone!

Once it happened, a young man was in love with a woman who was elder to his age. She must be 6 years elder to him. But LOVE knows NO AGE, NO CASTE, NO RELIGION! Society creates all sorts of rules which in the KINGDOM OF GOD holds NO truth. Understand the fact that it is this SOCIETY that has given you the MIND – MIND is not natural – MIND has been given to you by the society and the MIND is a monkey.

Whatever you speak, follow is controlled by the Society and that is how you all go on missing the TRUTHS. Because the Society would never want you to know the TRUTH, the Society would never want you to be yourself! The Society is always afraid of an individual – and so from the very beginning time – society has gone against the greatest individuals that the world had ever known – Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Mahavira, Sai Baba – and so many – they all were troubled by the society of their times – it always happens, that is the way of its happening!

Society loves to live in illusions. An individual loves to live in the TRUTHS.

The young man was an individual, he was a follower of his heart. And he loved the woman. And soon love happened. They were deeply in love. They lived on the border of India Pakistan. And one day War broke between the two countries. And there was firing across the borders, the enemy was firing madly…..

The young woman suddenly got trapped in this round of firings…her father and mother gave up all the hopes that they had, it was impossible for her to come out of the firings, she was trapped, death was evident.

When the young man came to know that the LOVE of his life is trapped and there is no way for her to come out…..he decided to JUMP! He just decided to go for it…

For LOVE – life can be risked, life can be sacrificed…

Her father said to the young man “What are you doing? Are you mad?”

LOVE is MAD and therefore LOVE is beautiful!

The young man said “She is my friend, I love her more than myself. I will go and get her back.”

Her father said “ If you go – you too will be dead.”

The young man looked into the eyes of her father and said “It doesn’t matter” and he went to find her.

It is very difficult in the dark and there are hundred of corpses all around. He looked and looked and in the middle of the night he returned, dragging his friend’s body on his back….he himself was terribly wounded and was bleeding….

The moment he reached his lover’s home he fell on the floor with the body of his dead friend. The father of his friend burst out in tears and said “ I told you not to be foolish….I knew she was trapped and there was no way for her to come out – we had accepted the fact that she is going to be no more with us but what have you done to yourself. Your friend is dead and you are also dying….”

The dying man opened his eyes and he said “BUT it was WORTH it. Because when I went there, she looked at me and said, “Mohan, I knew you would come.”

For LOVE, life can be sacrificed – it is WORTH it.

Those who claim that they loved you but cannot marry you. Those who came up with EXCUSES – has not really understood the depth of the word LOVE. They have not really loved you in true sense!

It is an irony that the society dictates you that just to survive – sacrifice everything. Just to be alive – sacrifice everything. BUT then what is the value of such a life? It is simply worthless – a living body without a soul.

The word FRIEND itself is very deep. It is more than family. Always remember – and I say it to all my followers, readers and fellow travelers – YOU can sacrifice and not Love. But you cannot Love and not sacrifice!

When you are walking on the street – you offer help, you offer love to those whom you trust. Now some of them will express their gratitude, some will resonate with your love, some will relate with you, some will offer back love to you in abundance and some will bite you, cheat you! Now tell me – and I appeal to all my followers, all my readers and fellow travelers – tell me – whom to blame? There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with your KARMA – you are just a beautiful darling – the CHILD OF GOD who loves, who shares love – those who can understand will relate – those who cannot will condemn you, ridicule you, turn their back on you! And those who are utterly negative will stab in your back. The problem is NOT with you or your KARMA, the problem is with the other person who CANNOT relate to the depth of your love, your sharing, your caring.

So let this be very clear that FAILURE IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS has absolutely NOTHING to do with your KARMA. Always remember LOVE never fails you – relationships may fail – but LOVE never fails – LOVE is the very source of your LIFE – no matter how many relationships break – you always have abundance of LOVE within you – and so the journey of love never ends.

We are born out of LOVE. And when we surrender to LOVE – our journey becomes a journey of bliss, a journey of peace.

When true lovers meet and they fall in love – they surrender to love – they do not surrender to each other – they simply surrender to LOVE that is blossoming between them!

When you VALUE the LOVE that is between you and your lover, when you UNDERSTAND the depth of LOVE between you and your lover, there is absolutely NO question of fighting or arguing or doubting – because you have surrender to the LOVE that is between you and your lover!

DOUBT is DEATH. You will doubt your lover because your LOVE is still NOT total. The moment your LOVE has become a full moon, the moment your love has attained its TOTALITY – there is absolutely no question of doubting – doubting happens when you become POSSESSIVE and possessive nature KILLS love. The moment you tend to be possessive – LOVES ceases to exist!

Possessiveness is the false love. Hatred is better – at least it is true. And hatred can become love any day, but possessiveness can NEVER become love.

What is love? – once a young man asked.

Love in simple words – is that YOU are ready to merge yourself into the other. Love means the OTHER is now important that you can lose yourself in LOVE! Love is TOTAL SURRENDER!

Now tell me – ask yourself – and I appeal to all my followers, readers and fellow travelers – ask yourself – Have you ever fallen in love?

And if your answer is YES – than my next question is – have you surrendered yourself TOTALLY to LOVE – have you become a ‘nobody’? Because you can LOVE only if you become a nobody – if you remain a ‘somebody’ than LOVE cannot happen – LOVE is possible only when there is absolutely NO EGO – when you are willing to JUMP – when there is absolutely NO MIND – but only your HEART – only than LOVE can blossom, can grow within you! And when love starts growing within your being – you no more remain a child, you mature to the point where you are no more in love – you are love.

And the moment you are LOVE – the question of SEX does not arise! Because LOVE is higher than your physical sex. And let me tell you all – LOVE has the power to TRANSFORM a stone into an idol!

That reminds me of Amrapali! Amrapali was the most beautiful woman that the world would have ever known! She was born under a Mango tree and so her name – Amrapali! And it is a story of very old times…

It happened so that Gautama Buddha with his disciples arrived in her town. And Amrapali – her beauty – how to describe – she was so beautiful that even the greatest priest of any temple may forgot all about scriptures and just dream of having her – she was so beautiful!

And one day from her palace she saw one young disciple of Buddha. And the young disciple was also a handsome man. But he was monk. A very very deeply engrossed monk. And she would observe him everyday – and she thought that the monsoon season has started so why not welcome the young handsome monk to her house!

Buddhist monks during the four months of monsoon – don’t move – they remain at one place. And so Amrapali – the most beautiful woman welcomed the young monk – she said to him “ It is going to rain for the next four months – I would love to provide you shelter at my palace – please come and stay with me.”

The young monk said, “I will ask my master. If he allows me, I will come.”

The other monks were present – when they heard about such an offer – they became angry. They all rushed to Buddha. They said ” The young monk should be stopped. A monk staying four months with such a woman…..”

Buddha said ” You all keep calm. Let him come. He has not agreed, he has agreed only if I allow him. Let him come.”

The young monk came, touched the feet of Buddha and told the whole story. He said “That woman is a famous dancer – Amrapali. She has asked me to stay for four months in her house. Every monk will be staying somewhere during these four months of monsoon season. I have told her that I will ask my master, so I am here…whatever you say – master….I will follow”

Buddha looked into his eyes and said “You can stay with her.”

It was a shock for all the hundreds of monks who were present. There was a great silence, but great anger, great jealousy. They could not believe that Buddha has allowed a monk to stay in a beautiful dancer’s house.

After three days, the young monk left to stay with Amrapali and the monks every day started bringing gossips – all kind of gossips – dirty gossips.

Buddha said “You all should be silent. Four months will pass and I trust my monk. I have looked into his eyes – there was no desire. If I had said NO – he would not have felt anything. I said YES..he simply went. And I trust in my monk, in his awareness, in his meditation.”

Nobody knew what was going to happen – whether the monk will change Amrapali. Or whether Amrapali will change the monk.

But the monk was not an ordinary monk. He must be like me. He was a great lover of his master. He was a highly meditative person. He was no more meditating – he was meditation! And so after four months – the young monk comes – and he comes not alone – but he comes with Amrapali! And Amrapali rushed to Buddha and fell at Buddha’s feet and said “I tried my best to seduce your monk, but he seduced me. He convinced me by His presence and awareness that the real life is at your feet. I want to give all my possessions to the commune of your monks. And lastly I want to become your disciple…..master…please accept me as your disciple…..”

Buddha raised her up and blessed her. And Amrapali – became one of the most ardent follower of Buddha – a dancer was transformed into the greatest lover of GOD – that the world had ever known! LOVE can transform. Meditation can transform. Awareness can transform. And she experienced all of these in that young monk – that she realized her own ‘poverty’ and the ‘richness’ of the monk – his bliss, his peace his joy – she invited him to seduce him with her beauty – but she herself was seduced by the grace of His presence – by his awareness, his purity of being!

It is this same Amrapali – who later became one of the most enlightened disciple of Buddha.

I therefore insist to all my meditative followers and readers – that if your meditation is deep – if your understanding has gone deeper – if you have become a man of heart – if your awareness is growing – than no matter how many beautiful woman you may come across – it is not they who will transform you – it is YOU who can transform them and help them to attain the higher realms of awareness – consciousness – only if they have a certain depth of understanding that Amrapali had!

Certain hypocrites avoid looking at beautiful woman’s face! I don’t understand why. If there is nothing wrong in your being – than what is the problem in looking at someone who is beautiful!

Some hypocrites came up with a story – that Laxman never looked at Sita – because she was too beautiful!

Now all such stories are the result of a mind that is afraid to face beauty – because it cannot control its desires! And so then such minds come up with such fake stories!

Understand the fact that if your Mind is purified – if your eyes are beautiful and pure than even if the most beautiful woman stands before you – you would wonder – that how great it would have been – had your mother or sister be so beautiful!

When Chattrapatti Shivaji Maharaj acquired the kingdom of Kalyan – the queen of Kalyan was brought before him – and she was extremely beautiful – but looking at her the great King says “How great it would have been if my mother would have been as beautiful as you are!”

And then the great King Chatrapatti Shivaji Maharaj – sends her back with respect and love!

So NEVER blame any woman – if you have fallen from your grace than it is purely because of your IGNORANCE and nothing else.

Love has no expectations. So when people say that my boyfriend ditched me or girlfriend ditched me – than somewhere the LOVE was not in totality. Because real love has absolutely no expectations.

Once a great master was saying to a woman who had lost her lover – her lover had abandoned her – she was crying, she was in pain – the master looked into her eyes and just asked one question “ You loved her totally – right?”

She said “ Yes – very much.”

Then the master said “ Than that is all!”

You have loved. He may not have. But the final answer – the final truth is that – YOU HAVE LOVED and you have loved him totally – tremendously – deeply and that is what love is all about! Love has no expectation – if you have loved – than that is all!

That is all that you should treasure all your life – because the experience of falling in love comes not to all human beings – it has come to you – it has grown within you – you should not cry, you should not repress – you should be thankful – because TRUE LOVE is rare to find – it is indeed the greatest gift that one could have – one moment of LOVE!

Only a man who can LOVE – can meditate! Only a woman who can LOVE – can meditate!

So come, come you all – I know you all have been hurt – it always happens – a lovable person often is hurt many times in life – GOD always loves to test HIS fellows. Only the CHOSEN ONE is tested by GOD. That is why I always say that those who are suffering, those who have been cheated, ridiculed, insulted, offended, – such men and women are truly the blessed ones! Because GOD tests only those whom he LOVES the most! Only when you are tested and you stand to HIS tests – that you become HIS messenger – God’s messenger – God’s fellow – God’s fool!

You all have been following this God’s fool, so it means that sooner or later you all too are on your way to become God’s fool!

And how beautiful it is to be God’s fool! There is absolutely NO HEAD – NO LOGIC – NO INTELLECTUALISM – NO IDEA OF ‘I AM SOMEBODY’ – how beautiful it is when you take the backseat and let GOD drive your life!

Let GOD drive your life – HE can do more than you can.

So you just RELAX. Unless you RELAX – there is no coming to the TRUTH. There is no coming to GOD. You all find it difficult to relax because the MIND never wants to relax – the MIND is always wanting to do more – getting to somewhere – getting to something…..but you all – my fellows – you all have to become wise – and turn to meditation – it is only through meditation that you can control the monkey mind – it is only through meditation that you can make love – it is only through meditation that you can self-realize the true essence of love!

But the first thing that you all have to learn is to RELAX.

Sit down. Close your eyes. Breath deeply. Focus on your breathing. Focus on your lord’s holy name. Repeat. And Repeat and go on repeating until the MIND relaxes – only then love is possible, only then the journey beyond is possible.

Relax. Just relax and let your whole body surrender to the existence – let the existence take over – you just relax.

Respect your uniqueness and drop all comparison. Just Relax into your being.

The greater the depth of your meditation, the greater you can Relax.

The key to attain the highest stage of relaxation is through meditation.


Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru.

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar is a celebrity Astrologer and internationally acclaimed author of 9 books with two best selling books on Rahu and Ketu. His latest internationally published book is on Retrograde Planets titled “Essence of Retrograde planets”.
Find solutions and remedies and know your future prospect. Consult renowned internationally acclaimed Vedic Astrologer – Acharya Addittya Tamhankar.
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