Childless by Choice, Not by Chance

Every person comes with his or her destiny. Something has to be completed, some unfinished business has to be completed, some message needs to be shared. Something that was incomplete needs to be completed. And so for that, you come in this human form.

So many people, when they remain childless, there is a higher purpose to it—a higher calling.

I remember 4 years ago, I had met a great spiritual master, and he was sharing his story with me. He said, “When I was young, I had decided not to marry, so the question of having children never occurred. But my family wanted me to marry, and I was the disciple of Sridhar Swami.” Sridhar Swami was the direct disciple of Samarth Ramdas Swami.

So I went to him, and he said, “Don’t worry, I will talk with your family.” And when his family came, Sridhar Swami said, “This boy, your son, is meditating, is taking efforts for the well-being of society. If you stop him, your whole family will start suffering. So don’t stop him. Let him do what he is meant to do.”

And that is exactly what Neem Karoli Baba says, “That person is not fortunate who gets what he wishes for. Rather, that person is fortunate who does what he is meant to.”

The Meaning of Childlessness

In this forecast, I have talked briefly about what it means to be childless and whether having a child brings happiness. Many people think that if they become a father or mother, they will attain happiness. But the reality is something else.

There are people who are suffering at the hands of their children. And they think that those who don’t have a child—those are the lucky ones. So perspective matters.

The Higher the Peak, the Deeper the Valley

Near Mount Everest, the deepest valley exists. It can only exist there.

When God chooses you, then you will have to sacrifice everything. Only then can you reach the top of the mountain. Only then can you attain that which is beyond the mind. Only then can you attain that which millions of people aspire to attain—and that is God experience.

When you have come to the realization that you will never have a child, then you should also realize that you are chosen for the higher calling of God.

Mohan asked, What is a higher calling?

A higher calling is moving forward in your walk with God. The gift of a higher calling is far superior to the material gifts of this human world.

The Pressure of Society

An ordinary person or a very common soul is very naturally attached to the idea of having a child. It is very common to wish for a child. Every common man and woman wish to have a child.

Many times the person may not want to have a child but comes under the pressure of family and society. Because the society always wants you to live the way other people live. The society is always keen on dictating you on what to do and what not to do.

Society wants you to follow the well-trodden path on which your father and your forefathers have been walking. It never wants you to try anything new. It never wants you to think beyond the four walls.

Society teaches you: Choose the convenient. Choose the comfortable. Choose the well-trodden path where your forefathers and their forefathers and their forefathers since Adam and Eve have been walking. Choose the well-trodden path. That is the proof. So many millions of people have passed on it—you cannot go wrong.

But remember one thing: the crowd has never had the experience of truth. Truth has only happened to individuals.

Choose What Rings True in Your Heart

Whenever there are alternatives, be aware. Don’t choose the convenient, the comfortable, the respectable, the socially acceptable, the honorable.

Choose something that rings a bell in your heart. Choose something that you would like to do in spite of any consequences.

Many advanced, evolved souls have simply dropped the idea of having a child. They remain childless by choice, not by chance.

Longing, Loss, and Spiritual Growth

Many times it happens that you become a father or mother, and then the child is taken away from you. And then what happens? Either you continue to suffer because of your longing for the child, or you simply let go.

It all depends on the level of your consciousness—the level of your soul.

If you are a common soul, then you will continue to miss your child and hope to reunite. This attachment will then affect your spiritual growth. Because even though you are meditating and chanting, still your mind remains attached to the child who is no more with you—and may never be with you.

Many men and women continue to suffer because of their attachments to the child. And suffering is always on the mental level.

The Weight of Mental Suffering

Yesterday, a woman called me and said that she is taking efforts towards her self-growth. But then she asked me, “When will I reunite with my son?” She said her son was taken away by her in-laws.

So now you see—this attachment will become a major hurdle in her spiritual progress. No matter where she goes and how much meditation she does, this thought about her separated son will continue to haunt her. She will always remain on the circumference. She will be devoid of spiritual bliss.

I said to her, “What has to happen has happened. Now you should move on and drop the idea of reuniting with your son.”But she was not willing to accept the reality.

It is difficult for a soul that is not yet evolved to accept and move on.

You never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Who knows? The son for whom she is longing may turn out to be evil, may throw her out of the house, may cause much suffering to her. But she is not going to understand this. She is going to remain in her illusions that one day she will meet her son and then everything will be alright.

But that is not how life is. Buddha says, life is suffering. Always remember this.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Those who do not have children think that those who have children are the blessed ones. And those who have children and are suffering because of them—they think those who do not have children are the blessed ones.

This is how strange this world is, my fellows.

You always feel that by having that which you don’t have, you will find happiness. But in reality, that never happens.

That is why the Master says, “Think before you desire a thing. There is every possibility that it will be fulfilled. And then you will suffer.”

The Buddha and the Couple

Many couples struggle to have a child. Their desire is very intense. And then when they finally have a child, they think they are finally blessed. But the movie is not yet over. Picture abhi baaki hai.

When that same child grows and becomes an adult and causes much suffering to them, then they realize that by having a child, they have dug their own graveyard.

One day, a young man and his wife came to meet Buddha. They wanted a child. They had been trying for a child but with no success. So they asked Buddha, “When will we have a child?”

Buddha smiled and said, “I have no problem in giving you a child. But what if the child turns out to be an arrogant, ignorant person? And I know you both very well—you are good-hearted persons. You are filled with love and devotion. But what if some bad, evil, harsh, offending soul takes birth through your womb?”

He said, “I love you both, and so I want you to think over this and then come back with your final decision.”

That couple was not ordinary. They were evolved souls. They started crying.

They said, “Master, you are so compassionate that you share the truth with us. It is your love towards us that you revealed this. And we can now understand from your insights that if we bear a child, that child is going to cause much pain and suffering to us. We don’t know how to thank you. We are short of words.”

True Understanding

The compassionate master simply gave them an indication that in their destiny, if they bear a child, then that child will turn out to be an evil person—an arrogant, ignorant fool.

It is also important to note that the couple had so much depth of understanding that at that moment itself, they decided not to have a child and dropped the idea of conceiving.

Blessed are such great disciples who understand the message of the Master.

The Modern Child and the Disappointed Father

Yesterday, a man—one of the leading businessmen of a city—called and said, “My son does nothing. He is 28 years old. He gets up at 10 a.m., then spends the entire morning in the gym, comes home, and then enjoys his time roaming around the town. I am completely disappointed and don’t know what to do. Who will marry him? Because he does nothing—absolutely nothing.”

This is the state of a man who has a child.

So to all those who are childless, I simply want to help you understand that having a child is not important. Quality of the child is important. Otherwise, the child becomes the source of your suffering.

Astrological Indications of Suffering from Children

Whenever your 5th house and 5th house lord is connected with the 8th, 12th, or 6th house
Whenever the 5th house or its lord is connected with Rahu
→ Then definitely you will suffer. If you give birth to a child, your child will become the source of your suffering.

Remember my words.

Whenever the Putrakaraka planet (i.e., among all seven planets, the one that holds the fifth-highest degree) is afflicted by Rahu, Saturn, or Mars, or is associated with the 8th, 12th, or 6th house → you will suffer at the hands of your child.
Whenever the 5th house lord is in the 4th house, and the sign in the 4th house is Virgo, then definitely you will be devoid of happiness from your child.
Whenever the Sun is weak or debilitated in your birth chart, or whenever the Sun is associated with Rahu, Ketu, Mars, or Saturn, then you will be devoid of happiness from children.
Whenever the 5th house lord is retrograde, and Saturn or retrograde Saturn casts its third aspect on the 5th house, and Jupiter is also retrograde, or debilitated, or with Rahu, or in the 8th house, then definitely you will see issues regarding children.

Either the native has no children, or if he has, then he will suffer a lot because of his children.

Whenever Jupiter, Venus, and 5th house lord and 5th house are afflicted or weak, you should know: there is absolutely no happiness from children.

So in such a case, if you remain childless, that is much better than to suffer at the hands of your children.

Buddha’s Caution to Evolved Souls

That is why Buddha said to that couple: “I can help you become mother and father. But what if the child turns out to be negative and evil by nature?”

Evolved souls are always unconventional by nature. And these evolved souls are primarily under the influence of higher octave planets.

What Are Higher Octave Planets?

Mohan asked, “Which planets are higher octave planets?”

Primarily we have two:

Uranus
Neptune

And since Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, unconventionality comes naturally to Aquarius sign.

So many men and women born with Moon in Aquarius, Rahu in Aquarius, or major planets in Aquarius are found to be unconventional, modern, and with a very different perspective toward life in general.

Similarly, whosoever has a strong Uranus or Neptune in the birth chart is also a highly unconventional person.

And if such strong Uranus or Neptune gets support from other positive planets, then a genius is born. Someone as great as Rabindranath Tagore.

The Power of Neptune: Tagore’s Example

Rabindranath Tagore had Neptune in his ascendant, and his Moon was in conjunction with Neptune. And since Neptune is the higher version of Venus, he was able to write some of the greatest poems, which won him the 1913 Nobel Prize in Literature.

The Nobel organization stated he was awarded:

Because of his profoundly sensitive, fresh and beautiful verse by which, with consummate skill, he has made his poetic thought, expressed in his own English words, a part of the literature of the West.

Such is the higher power of Neptune.

A Deep Astrological Truth

Evolved souls can be identified based on the placement of Uranus and Neptune, and their connection with the lower octave planets like Venus, Jupiter, Mars, and Moon.

It is a very deep subject. I will reveal more on this on some other occasion.

Being Childless Is Not a Problem for Evolved Souls

Being childless is actually not a problem for evolved souls, because as mentioned, evolved souls are unconventional by nature. And so they can do that which is considered as not normal by the so-called sane people.

From a spiritual progress perspective, if by chance you are childless and you are a spiritual person, then being childless is the most wonderful development for you, because children become the hurdle between you and your spiritual progress.

But as mentioned, this sharing is only for selective people who have a certain depth of understanding.

Possessiveness Is the Root of Suffering

The Master says the major mistakes in bringing up children are many, but I will talk only about the most important mistake:

The idea that they belong to you.

They come through you. You have been a passage. But they don’t belong to you. They are not your possessions.

Out of this idea of possessiveness, many, many mistakes arise.

So by chance, if you have a child and you are walking on the spiritual path, then you should not entertain the idea that your children belong to you.

Else, this possessiveness toward your child will become the cause of many sufferings in your life.

Children Are Not Objects

Having children is okay as long as you don’t become possessive of your children.

Once you start thinking that your children are your possessions, you have reduced them into things. Because only things can be possessed—not human beings. It is the ugliest act you can do.

And those poor children are so helpless, so dependent on you. They cannot rebel. They accept whatever your idea is.

I come across many mothers and fathers who are so much possessive of their sons and daughters. In the end, this possessiveness brings many miseries in their life.

Death and Detachment: The Fakir’s View

When I will die, there will be no one after me. I am a fakir, and I don’t even think of what will happen when I die—who will take care of my last rituals.

Because when the body is dead, the story is over. What is there to wait for?

The Lawyer’s Story

A few years ago, I had met a lawyer. He was an old man. He said to me, “I lost my two sons in a road accident. They were very young. I am now alone. But I don’t have to worry. I have made arrangements for my last rituals. There is a young boy whom I have raised. He will take care of my last rites.”

Now this is how people remain attached.

Why do you have to make arrangements? Why?

Can you not just let God take care of all your worries?

The Way of the Ketuish Man

But intellectual men are always looking out for making such arrangements. While a Ketuish man is least bothered about what happens when he is dead.

He is not even going to make any arrangements for the last rituals. Because he is perfectly aware that someone will find money in his pocket and use it for his last, final rituals. Either they will burn him or bury him.

So why the heck should he worry?

The Master Who Said, “Surprise Me”

Reminds me of a beautiful story.

There was a great master. His name was Ikasu. He was a very extraordinary human being of great innocence and joy. He loved to laugh and dance and sing.

One day, when he was going to die, his disciples asked, “What are we going to do with your body? Because you have lived such an unconventional life, we don’t know whether to bury or burn you. What are we supposed to do?”

And the dying master opened his eyes, laughed his last laughter, and said,
“Surprise me.”
And then he closed his eyes and died.

Even in Death—Innocence

This is the way of the innocent.
Surprise me. Even in death, there is innocence. Even in death, there is laughter.
Even in death, there is no complaint.

He is waiting to be surprised.
Whether you burn him or bury him—decide yourself.
But make it a surprise. Don’t ask it. Don’t follow any given instructions, because then it will not be a surprise at all.

If I say bury me or burn me, then I will already know about it.

You have to keep a certain surprise element in your life.

The Surprise Element of Life

So if you are childless, then naturally this surprise element remains. You don’t know who is going to do the last rituals for you.

And if you truly are an evolved soul, then does that really matter?

An evolved soul simply sets out on his or her next journey—the journey towards the beyond.

It is said that many souls desire a place in heaven after death. However, Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi specifically mentions that heaven is a very ordinary place to be.

“Heaven is a wastage of time,” quotes Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi.

Illusions About Heaven and Family

Just the way people think that heaven is the only place to be, similarly common men think that to complete their family, a child is needed—or to be precise, a son is needed.

When in reality, these ideas are your illusions. There is no reality to it.

Childless men have attained moksha much faster than those who have children—simply because there is no child to get attached to.

Moksha and the Trap of Attachment

However, those who have children can also attain moksha provided they stop being possessive of their child and stop getting attached with their child.

The whole thing comes down to one word, my fellows.
And that one word is: attachment.

Attachment drives you birth after birth, and you remain where you are—miserable and lost in this vast human world.

Let me tell you: even if the Guru or the Master is with you in physical form, still the Guru cannot help you overcome your attachments unless and until you start making efforts—efforts to turn inwards and realize the futility of attachments.

Who Progresses Spiritually?

A man who is not much affected by not having children can progress on the spiritual path.

However, a typical woman or man who is constantly thinking about his or her separated child, or is feeling depressed for not having a child, will remain stuck and will again fall in the never-ending cycle of birth and rebirth.

These things are very difficult to digest.
That is why I share it with only a few.

For they will be able to move on and progress on their spiritual path.

A Signal from God

Remember: when you have no child, or when you are separated from your child, and if you are a spiritual person, then it is a signal from God that the child is not meant for you.

You are just a biological father or biological mother.
Beyond that, there is absolutely no karmic balance connected with your child.

So drop the attachment and move on.

However, very, very few are able to do so—and therefore, very few become the Buddha.

Spirituality Is Not What It Seems

Spirituality, therefore, is not as easy as it seems to be.

Just by growing a long beard, applying a tilak on your forehead, and adopting some fancy spiritual name will not bring any spiritual progress to you.

Your appearance may attract a few million people, but how does that help you grow within?

The truth has nothing to do with outer appearances.
Truth has much to do with what lies beneath.

Swami Swarupananda’s Insight

Once it happened, there was a great spiritual master. His name was Swami Swarupananda. Interestingly, he never kept a beard. He always used to have a clean-shaven face.

And let me tell you—he was the greatest spiritual master that the world had ever known. He lived in a small village called Pavas, in Konkan.

A few days ago, when he was about to take samadhi, his disciples invited one person. They thought he had great powers. They thought he was a spiritual master—because his appearance was very attractive. Long beard, big tilak on his forehead.

So they went and asked Swami Swarupananda of Pavas.

And Swami said:

“What you see on the outside is not on the inside.”

The message was loud and clear:
Don’t take this man as a spiritual master.
Because the spiritual avatar that you see in his outer appearance is completely absent within his being.

He is just a spiritual showcase being.

What Is True Sannyas?

Always remember, a true sannyas has nothing to do with outer appearance.

You may roam around in jeans or in short pants, and still, you will be the greatest sannyasi if you have renounced the ‘I’ thought.

Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi quotes:

“Sannyas is only the renunciation of the ‘I’ thought and not the rejection of external objects.”

Who Is the Real Spiritual Person?

The real spiritual person is not the one who says “I have renounced everything,”
but the one who says, “I am not the doer.”

Ramana Maharishi further says:

“Even better than the man who thinks I have renounced everything is the one who does his duty but does not think I do this or I am the doer.”

Even a sannyasi who thinks I am a sannyasi cannot be a true sannyasi.

Whereas a householder who does not think I am a householder is truly a sannyasi.

How beautiful and deep is this quote.

When God Takes Over

When you are not the doer, when you no longer take the credit for doing anything that is good—then God takes over.

And when God takes over, you don’t have to do anything special.
Everything happens in its own accord.

Being childless is perfectly fine if you have a certain depth of understanding.

Otherwise, there are millions and millions of couples having dozens of children.
But are they happy?

They may smile in front of you. But in their bedrooms, they weep like a child—because they suffer at the hands of their own child.

Let Go of Social Pressure

So let us not make this idea of having children as a mandatory thing.

If you are being pressurized to bear a child, and you are not willing to do so, then you must express yourself and not succumb to the pressure of society.

Remember—whatever happens, happens for a reason.
And you still are unaware of that reason.

That is how Jesus says to Peter:

“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

You will understand.
But till then, you should learn to live your life with total acceptance.

Accept the Higher Will

Accept the fact that God wants you to remain childless because there is a much higher purpose to your life which you currently are unaware of.

But later you will understand. You will come to know.

You Are Not a Produc

My fellows, every individual is unique.
It is wrong to compare, and it is wrong to follow the conventions of society.

Because you are not a product. You are not a robot.

You are a living human being. And you are born for a reason.

Always remember this:

You are not born accidentally.
You are born for a special purpose,
which you will understand as you start turning inwards,
as you start becoming more and more meditative,
as you start becoming a man of heart,
as you start surrendering yourself at the feet of the Master.

You Are Here Meaningfully

Always remember:
Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny.
He has something to fulfill.
Some message has to be delivered.
Some work has to be completed.

You are not here accidentally. You are here meaningfully.

There is a purpose behind you.
The Whole—that is, the Universe—intends to do something through you.

And so, always value yourself.

The Seesaw of Life

When there is a certain emptiness in one aspect of your life,
God ensures that the other side of your life elevates to new heights.

It may happen that on one end, you may have no child,
but on the other end, you may have that which millions and millions of people long for.

Always remember:
There is no such thing called a loser.
If one end of the seesaw goes down,
then the other end always shoots up.

The Beauty of the Childless Path

And so, there are many, many childless couples in this vast human world.
They may not have a child,
but they are so beautiful, so loving, and so highly evolved,
that even if they don’t have a child,
many will come to help them. Many will take care of them.

You know why?

Because when you live for others, others will live for you.

A Final Blessing

Paramahansa Yogananda had no child.
He was a celibate.

But there are thousands and thousands who would come to serve him—and that too, out of love.

Yogananda quotes:

“There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness—thinking of others first. When you learn to live for others, they will live for you.”

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is simple and straight:

If you are childless, then it is a sign that you are chosen for a higher purpose.

There is a higher calling—
and it is only when you accept your life in totality
that you will realize the higher purpose,
and then you will be able to respond to this higher calling
that only a few are blessed with.

Love to all my followers.
Stay blessed. And remember to meditate every day.

Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru.

Astrological Signs of Losing Virginity at an Early Age

By addittya tamhankar 0 Comments

Some people tend to lose their virginity at an early age. I have mentioned the generic conjunctions and placements that can lead you to this kind of situation where you lose your virginity at an early age.

Please note that there may be some additional other placements in your personal chart because of which this indication may not apply to your situation. So this is purely for learning purposes—to understand the generic indication of losing virginity at an early age.

Secondly, virginity or to be virgin has more to do with your mental than physical. How? I will explain.

Let’s say you are a virgin and you have been a virgin for many, many years. However, if every day you are thinking about sex, if mentally you are having all kinds of fantasies, then you tell me—what is the use of this virginity? You better go ahead and do it rather than just suppress your thoughts and desires.

So the real virginity is when you have absolutely no such thoughts that are connected to sex or any kind of fantasies.

You tend to lose your virginity only when your mind permits. And so, the very first important planet in Vedic astrology is the Moon. The placement of Moon in the 12th house, 7th house, 11th house, 3rd house, and 8th house invokes an interest in sex and sexual fantasies. However, this is not enough to push you into losing your virginity.

The second aspect is the placement of Moon in Nakshatra. When Moon is placed in Nakshatras ruled by Mars, Venus, Rahu, Ketu, or Moon, then the indication towards losing virginity at an early age becomes stronger. However, this is also not enough to seal the deal.

The next big thing is the planetary conjunctions in your chart. If you have conjunctions such as:

Venus–Mars conjunction
Venus–Rahu conjunction
Venus–Sun conjunction
Mercury–Venus conjunction
Venus–Mars–Rahu conjunction
Venus–Mercury–Sun conjunction

Or if you have a direct aspect of Rahu or Mars on your natal Venus, then the probability of losing virginity at an early age becomes stronger.

However, the buck doesn’t stop here.

The next step is to evaluate the condition of Mars and Venus in your chart. If Mars or Venus are retrograde and your Moon sign Lord is Mars or Venus or your Moon Nakshatra Lord is Mars or Venus, then you can expect certain out-of-the-box sexual ideas hitting you now and then. And this can also add to losing virginity at an early age.

Placement of Venus–Rahu, Venus–Mars in the 3rd house, 7th house, 11th house, or 12th house also leads to many sexual encounters. And thus, the natives seem to lose track of when actually he or she lost their virginity.

All these highly sexual placements are triggered during the Mahadasha or Antardasha period of Rahu, Mars, or Venus.

Rahu, Mars, Venus, and Mercury are the most sex-hungry planets. However, the boss of all these four is Moon—the mind. As I have always been stating that Moon is the most highly sexual entity—and that is how your mind is.

So when Moon is in conjunction with Venus, or when Moon is in conjunction with Mars, or when Moon is in conjunction with Rahu, or Mercury is in conjunction with Moon, then the probability of losing virginity at an early age is more than otherwise.

Nakshatras that are more sexual by nature.

Before I proceed, let it be very clear that there is absolutely nothing wrong in being sexual. Since we all are born out of sex, we definitely should not condemn it.

Mars Nakshatras: Mrigashira, Chitra, Dhanishta
Rahu Nakshatras: Shatabhisha, Ardra, Swati
Ketu Nakshatras: Magha, Mula, Ashwini
Venus Nakshatras: Purvashada, Purva Phalguni, Bharani
Moon Nakshatras: Shravan, Hasta, Rohini

So now when you are born in a Nakshatra ruled by Moon, Mars, Venus, Rahu, or Ketu, then the sexual urge is there. But whether you have the required sexual drive is based on the conjunctions and placement of Venus, Mars, Rahu, Moon, and their conjunctions.

In general, losing virginity at an early age can be through your own temptations, or you might be forced into losing your virginity due to a certain situation.

When planets like Mars, Rahu are afflicting Venus badly, then through force you tend to lose your virginity. However, when there is no affliction to Venus—that is, when Venus is not afflicted by Mars or Rahu—then you tend to lose your virginity at an early age due to your own sexual temptation and desires.

A Reflection on Love and Lust

Many youngsters label their sexual relation as an outcome of love. But usually this is not love, but infatuation and lust. When interest in sex is over, then couples break apart. So where was love?

But mind is cunning, remember? The mind is very cunning and clever.

There was a boy, and his mother had died when he was an infant. And his father had worked hard to raise him properly. Finally, the boy went away to college. His first letter was a disappointment to his father. It was a disappointment, but the old man did not know exactly why. Perhaps something in the tone bothered him.

The letter read:
Dear Dad, everything is fine. I like it here at college. I am on the football team. I am in the best fraternity on campus. I got an A on my first algebra exam.

After some thinking, the father was able to put his finger on the difficulty. He wrote back:
Look son, I don’t want to seem to be a silly old man, but there is something which would make me very happy. It isn’t that I think you are ungrateful in any way, but I have had to work very, very hard to raise you and to send you to college. I never had a chance to go to college myself. What I mean is this—it would mean a lot to me if you would say “we did this” and “we did that” instead of “I did this” and “I did that.” It would help me to feel as if I had a part in it all.

The boy understood immediately. And thereafter, letters came in the form:
Well Dad, we won this game last Saturday. We got a date with a pretty girl. We are going to get an A in history.

The old man took earnest pleasure in this sharing of experience. Days were sunny for him.
One day a telegram arrived:
Dear Dad, we got Dean’s daughter in trouble. She had twins. Mine died. What are you going to do with yours?

This is what agreement does. You simply follow but miss to understand what the real thing is. The hilarious story is significant in many ways.

The significance is in the fact that the son merely followed what his father had said and conveniently missed to realize what his father meant. The mind is cunning. The mind can make your life hell if you simply go on following without understanding.

The mind knows what to use to its advantage. And therefore, we see many followers who follow a certain faith, missing the real thing and committing many terrible mistakes.

It is a strange world.

Man and woman sleep together. And when the honeymoon is over, they remember the astrologer. Then they rush to the astrologer and ask, Should we marry? Is it going to last for good? Is it going to bring happiness?

Now the poor astrologer is wondering what kind of world he is living in. Honeymoon is already over, and now the couple is doubting on whether to jump into this legal institution called marriage or not.

Those who are taking keen interest in understanding astrology should understand that times are changing. The very meaning of relationships is changing. The very definition of marriage is changing. And so, you all have to get your basics re-evaluated before you reach a certain observation.

Marriage has become a showcase. It is no more a symbol of love. Rather, it has become a matter of social status.

Yesterday, a young man came. He said, I am young, and I am looking for a girl to marry.
I said, Then what is the problem? Almost half of the population is of women, so you should find one for yourself.
He said, But I have one expectation.
I said, What?
He looked at me and said, She must be a virgin.

I asked him, From which world have you come? You are asking and expecting the impossible.

I am not saying that every man or woman loses his or her virginity before marriage. But the hard truth of today’s world—especially in big metro cities—is that many do lose their virginity. Because marriages happen in late 20s or in the 30s, and the human body and mind cannot remain virgin for so long. And so, sexual relationships happen.

To expect something that is outdated is mere stupidity.

The word virgin has become very rare in today’s robotic world. Most of the women and men lose their virginity long before they get married.

Small minds think about virginity. Liberal minds just don’t care about such man-made obligations. They are just happy to love. But conservative minds will not understand. They will condemn the lovers. They will give long lectures on how to safeguard your virginity.

I remember one such story and it is interesting.

Once it happened, a high priest was visiting a church and all the nuns were present. The high priest was very strict about maintaining virginity. It was a different story if he himself had remained virgin.

But when all nuns came and the room was packed, he stood up and said, All you holy nuns, if you all have maintained your virginity, then please stand up.

Nobody stood up except one nun with a small girl in her lap.

The high priest thanked God that at least one nun has remained virgin.

The high priest said to her, So it is only you who is virgin?

The nun said, No Father, it is not me, but my small daughter who is just one year old. I am standing for her.

Virginity is nothing but the play of the mind. Religions are compelling people to stay virgin. In reality, virginity has nothing to do when it comes to love.

When you love, you simply love. Then you must not ask silly questions like, Are you virgin?

Once a young man—and he must be really silly—because he had been through two relationships, passionate relationships. And now, when he was in love with a new woman, he asked her, Are you a virgin?

And the woman looked into the eyes of the man and asked back, Are you a virgin?

So you see, people have crazy expectations when they themselves cannot meet those expectations.

Life, Love, and Understanding

Life is a flow. Men meet women, and many relationships happen out of love. Women meet men, and the melting, the merging happens out of love. It is natural.

Understand the fact that women are not products and neither are men. Products have labels—used, unused. You can evaluate products. They are lifeless.

But never, ever do the silly mistake of evaluating people the way you evaluate products.

People have emotions. They love. They fall in love. They relate. They melt in each other. And that is perfectly human, natural.

The idea of virginity is the idea of a fake society—a hypocrite society. Love knows no virginity.

When you truly love a woman or you love a man, you would never ask silly questions like Are you a virgin?

When you love, you simply love.

Small minds. Intellectualism leads you to such silly questions of virginity—and in the process creates many hurdles for you, and you never are able to experience love in the true sense.

Love is not for a coward, a man who keeps raising doubts after doubts. Doubt is death. Love is for a courageous man, courageous heart that is willing to jump into the unknown.

Courage is the love affair with the unknown. Only a man who has courage can love.

Truthful men or truthful women always say the facts on face because their heart is pure. They don’t live in fantasies and hypocrisies. They understand life more deeply than the others.

Sexuality and spirituality go hand in hand.

Don’t be surprised, because the deeper you go in sexuality, the greater you can rise in spirituality. Of course, the sexuality has to come out of true love. And then there is no sex in it—but just pure love. Pure melting in each other.

But this is a very deep statement, a deep subject. Don’t just jump on my words—self-realize the meaning that lies beneath those words.

What Is Virginity in the True Sense?

Virginity in the true sense is when you are not thinking about sexual. You simply have no interest in the matters of sex. That is, in true sense, virginity.

What is fasting?

Fasting is when you are not thinking about food. You simply have no interest in consuming food. You are engrossed in the name of the Holy Lord, in the divine thoughts of the angels. That is when real fasting happens.

Else, you are fasting on the exterior and all the time internally you are thinking of food.

Else, you are practicing celibacy and all the time in your mind there is this thought of sex. This happens because the desire is repressed.

The more you repress the desire, the more you would think of it. Think of it. Try it out. Starve for one full day and see what comes to your mind.

Unfortunately, repressed emotions do not die. They are silenced, but they continue to affect the person. Controlled anger is going to erupt one day. Controlled celibacy is going to come out and create a scene someday.

Stop controlling. Stop repressing.

The more you repress, the more it is likely to erupt. Repressing desires is like sitting on a time bomb. One day it is going to blast and then you will call it fate.

The only way out is to realize your desires. Don’t repress your desires—go through them. The very reason of your birth has been to fulfill your desires. How terrible it would be if you repress your desires when you are supposed to fulfill them?

Religion has made it difficult for many to fulfill their desires. Religion has laid many rules and regulations that compel one to repress his or her desires. The process of controlling and repressing and disciplining is taught by all the religions. And because of their fallacious teaching, humanity has not moved a single inch. It remains barbarous.

Any moment, people start killing each other. It does not take a single moment to lose themselves. They forgot completely that they are human beings—and something much more, something better, is expected of them.

By repressing desires, you are deceiving yourself. You are believing that you have become mindless, that you have gone beyond, that you are controlling the mind, that you are detached. But it is an illusion in which you are living.

The Path of Liberation

The only way out is to live naturally and experience life in its totality.

If you do something out of compulsion, then it is repression. If you do something out of your own belief, then it is liberation.

Spirituality is about achieving liberation and not practicing repression.

Repression of any kind is harmful to the body, mind, and soul. Allow yourself to experience whatever you are currently feeling—and you will set yourself free.

Remember, you are going to learn only by going through your experiences and not by repressing. The very opportunity of experiencing.

Repression is not the answer. Resisting temptations is not the answer. Overcoming temptations is the answer.

When you resist it, it means it is there—existing within—and so it can erupt any day anyway.

Always remember: Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.

Controlling is not the solution. Witnessing is the solution.

When you are controlling, you are giving importance to that feeling. You are acknowledging its existence. When you are witnessing, there is no question of acknowledging. You are simply not there. You are just witnessing.

Controlling is when you are experiencing it—being a part of that situation.
Witnessing is when you are not experiencing it, but observing. There is a difference.

Try it out. Focus on your breathing.
When anger comes, the breathing pattern is changed. Focus on your breathing. Just focus and synchronize your breathing. The anger will disappear.

There is a very striking difference when you do something because it has to be done—and when you do something out of love.

Love cannot happen when you control your emotions, when you repress your feelings. Love happens when you set yourself free.

Love is at the root of experiencing liberation.
God can only be realized through love and not otherwise.
God is love. And love is real.

When there is pure love, sex is not required. And even if you do sex, there is no thought of sex—it just happens out of love.

Sex without love is ugly.
Whereas sex that happens out of intense love is beautiful. Divine.

Understand the difference. Remember the difference.