Author: addittya tamhankar

Every person comes with his or her destiny. Something has to be completed, some unfinished business has to be completed, some message needs to be shared. Something that was incomplete needs to be completed. And so for that, you come in this human form.

So many people, when they remain childless, there is a higher purpose to it—a higher calling.

I remember 4 years ago, I had met a great spiritual master, and he was sharing his story with me. He said, “When I was young, I had decided not to marry, so the question of having children never occurred. But my family wanted me to marry, and I was the disciple of Sridhar Swami.” Sridhar Swami was the direct disciple of Samarth Ramdas Swami.

So I went to him, and he said, “Don’t worry, I will talk with your family.” And when his family came, Sridhar Swami said, “This boy, your son, is meditating, is taking efforts for the well-being of society. If you stop him, your whole family will start suffering. So don’t stop him. Let him do what he is meant to do.”

And that is exactly what Neem Karoli Baba says, “That person is not fortunate who gets what he wishes for. Rather, that person is fortunate who does what he is meant to.”

The Meaning of Childlessness

In this forecast, I have talked briefly about what it means to be childless and whether having a child brings happiness. Many people think that if they become a father or mother, they will attain happiness. But the reality is something else.

There are people who are suffering at the hands of their children. And they think that those who don’t have a child—those are the lucky ones. So perspective matters.

The Higher the Peak, the Deeper the Valley

Near Mount Everest, the deepest valley exists. It can only exist there.

When God chooses you, then you will have to sacrifice everything. Only then can you reach the top of the mountain. Only then can you attain that which is beyond the mind. Only then can you attain that which millions of people aspire to attain—and that is God experience.

When you have come to the realization that you will never have a child, then you should also realize that you are chosen for the higher calling of God.

Mohan asked, What is a higher calling?

A higher calling is moving forward in your walk with God. The gift of a higher calling is far superior to the material gifts of this human world.

The Pressure of Society

An ordinary person or a very common soul is very naturally attached to the idea of having a child. It is very common to wish for a child. Every common man and woman wish to have a child.

Many times the person may not want to have a child but comes under the pressure of family and society. Because the society always wants you to live the way other people live. The society is always keen on dictating you on what to do and what not to do.

Society wants you to follow the well-trodden path on which your father and your forefathers have been walking. It never wants you to try anything new. It never wants you to think beyond the four walls.

Society teaches you: Choose the convenient. Choose the comfortable. Choose the well-trodden path where your forefathers and their forefathers and their forefathers since Adam and Eve have been walking. Choose the well-trodden path. That is the proof. So many millions of people have passed on it—you cannot go wrong.

But remember one thing: the crowd has never had the experience of truth. Truth has only happened to individuals.

Choose What Rings True in Your Heart

Whenever there are alternatives, be aware. Don’t choose the convenient, the comfortable, the respectable, the socially acceptable, the honorable.

Choose something that rings a bell in your heart. Choose something that you would like to do in spite of any consequences.

Many advanced, evolved souls have simply dropped the idea of having a child. They remain childless by choice, not by chance.

Longing, Loss, and Spiritual Growth

Many times it happens that you become a father or mother, and then the child is taken away from you. And then what happens? Either you continue to suffer because of your longing for the child, or you simply let go.

It all depends on the level of your consciousness—the level of your soul.

If you are a common soul, then you will continue to miss your child and hope to reunite. This attachment will then affect your spiritual growth. Because even though you are meditating and chanting, still your mind remains attached to the child who is no more with you—and may never be with you.

Many men and women continue to suffer because of their attachments to the child. And suffering is always on the mental level.

The Weight of Mental Suffering

Yesterday, a woman called me and said that she is taking efforts towards her self-growth. But then she asked me, “When will I reunite with my son?” She said her son was taken away by her in-laws.

So now you see—this attachment will become a major hurdle in her spiritual progress. No matter where she goes and how much meditation she does, this thought about her separated son will continue to haunt her. She will always remain on the circumference. She will be devoid of spiritual bliss.

I said to her, “What has to happen has happened. Now you should move on and drop the idea of reuniting with your son.”But she was not willing to accept the reality.

It is difficult for a soul that is not yet evolved to accept and move on.

You never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Who knows? The son for whom she is longing may turn out to be evil, may throw her out of the house, may cause much suffering to her. But she is not going to understand this. She is going to remain in her illusions that one day she will meet her son and then everything will be alright.

But that is not how life is. Buddha says, life is suffering. Always remember this.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Those who do not have children think that those who have children are the blessed ones. And those who have children and are suffering because of them—they think those who do not have children are the blessed ones.

This is how strange this world is, my fellows.

You always feel that by having that which you don’t have, you will find happiness. But in reality, that never happens.

That is why the Master says, “Think before you desire a thing. There is every possibility that it will be fulfilled. And then you will suffer.”

The Buddha and the Couple

Many couples struggle to have a child. Their desire is very intense. And then when they finally have a child, they think they are finally blessed. But the movie is not yet over. Picture abhi baaki hai.

When that same child grows and becomes an adult and causes much suffering to them, then they realize that by having a child, they have dug their own graveyard.

One day, a young man and his wife came to meet Buddha. They wanted a child. They had been trying for a child but with no success. So they asked Buddha, “When will we have a child?”

Buddha smiled and said, “I have no problem in giving you a child. But what if the child turns out to be an arrogant, ignorant person? And I know you both very well—you are good-hearted persons. You are filled with love and devotion. But what if some bad, evil, harsh, offending soul takes birth through your womb?”

He said, “I love you both, and so I want you to think over this and then come back with your final decision.”

That couple was not ordinary. They were evolved souls. They started crying.

They said, “Master, you are so compassionate that you share the truth with us. It is your love towards us that you revealed this. And we can now understand from your insights that if we bear a child, that child is going to cause much pain and suffering to us. We don’t know how to thank you. We are short of words.”

True Understanding

The compassionate master simply gave them an indication that in their destiny, if they bear a child, then that child will turn out to be an evil person—an arrogant, ignorant fool.

It is also important to note that the couple had so much depth of understanding that at that moment itself, they decided not to have a child and dropped the idea of conceiving.

Blessed are such great disciples who understand the message of the Master.

The Modern Child and the Disappointed Father

Yesterday, a man—one of the leading businessmen of a city—called and said, “My son does nothing. He is 28 years old. He gets up at 10 a.m., then spends the entire morning in the gym, comes home, and then enjoys his time roaming around the town. I am completely disappointed and don’t know what to do. Who will marry him? Because he does nothing—absolutely nothing.”

This is the state of a man who has a child.

So to all those who are childless, I simply want to help you understand that having a child is not important. Quality of the child is important. Otherwise, the child becomes the source of your suffering.

Astrological Indications of Suffering from Children

• Whenever your 5th house and 5th house lord is connected with the 8th, 12th, or 6th house
• Whenever the 5th house or its lord is connected with Rahu
  → Then definitely you will suffer. If you give birth to a child, your child will become the source of your suffering.

Remember my words.

• Whenever the Putrakaraka planet (i.e., among all seven planets, the one that holds the fifth-highest degree) is afflicted by Rahu, Saturn, or Mars, or is associated with the 8th, 12th, or 6th house → you will suffer at the hands of your child.
• Whenever the 5th house lord is in the 4th house, and the sign in the 4th house is Virgo, then definitely you will be devoid of happiness from your child.
• Whenever the Sun is weak or debilitated in your birth chart, or whenever the Sun is associated with Rahu, Ketu, Mars, or Saturn, then you will be devoid of happiness from children.
• Whenever the 5th house lord is retrograde, and Saturn or retrograde Saturn casts its third aspect on the 5th house, and Jupiter is also retrograde, or debilitated, or with Rahu, or in the 8th house, then definitely you will see issues regarding children.

Either the native has no children, or if he has, then he will suffer a lot because of his children.

• Whenever Jupiter, Venus, and 5th house lord and 5th house are afflicted or weak, you should know: there is absolutely no happiness from children.

So in such a case, if you remain childless, that is much better than to suffer at the hands of your children.

Buddha’s Caution to Evolved Souls

That is why Buddha said to that couple: “I can help you become mother and father. But what if the child turns out to be negative and evil by nature?”

Evolved souls are always unconventional by nature. And these evolved souls are primarily under the influence of higher octave planets.

What Are Higher Octave Planets?

Mohan asked, “Which planets are higher octave planets?”

Primarily we have two:

1. Uranus
2. Neptune

And since Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, unconventionality comes naturally to Aquarius sign.

So many men and women born with Moon in Aquarius, Rahu in Aquarius, or major planets in Aquarius are found to be unconventional, modern, and with a very different perspective toward life in general.

Similarly, whosoever has a strong Uranus or Neptune in the birth chart is also a highly unconventional person.

And if such strong Uranus or Neptune gets support from other positive planets, then a genius is born. Someone as great as Rabindranath Tagore.

The Power of Neptune: Tagore’s Example

Rabindranath Tagore had Neptune in his ascendant, and his Moon was in conjunction with Neptune. And since Neptune is the higher version of Venus, he was able to write some of the greatest poems, which won him the 1913 Nobel Prize in Literature.

The Nobel organization stated he was awarded:

Because of his profoundly sensitive, fresh and beautiful verse by which, with consummate skill, he has made his poetic thought, expressed in his own English words, a part of the literature of the West.

Such is the higher power of Neptune.

A Deep Astrological Truth

Evolved souls can be identified based on the placement of Uranus and Neptune, and their connection with the lower octave planets like Venus, Jupiter, Mars, and Moon.

It is a very deep subject. I will reveal more on this on some other occasion.

Being Childless Is Not a Problem for Evolved Souls

Being childless is actually not a problem for evolved souls, because as mentioned, evolved souls are unconventional by nature. And so they can do that which is considered as not normal by the so-called sane people.

From a spiritual progress perspective, if by chance you are childless and you are a spiritual person, then being childless is the most wonderful development for you, because children become the hurdle between you and your spiritual progress.

But as mentioned, this sharing is only for selective people who have a certain depth of understanding.

Possessiveness Is the Root of Suffering

The Master says the major mistakes in bringing up children are many, but I will talk only about the most important mistake:

The idea that they belong to you.

They come through you. You have been a passage. But they don’t belong to you. They are not your possessions.

Out of this idea of possessiveness, many, many mistakes arise.

So by chance, if you have a child and you are walking on the spiritual path, then you should not entertain the idea that your children belong to you.

Else, this possessiveness toward your child will become the cause of many sufferings in your life.

Children Are Not Objects

Having children is okay as long as you don’t become possessive of your children.

Once you start thinking that your children are your possessions, you have reduced them into things. Because only things can be possessed—not human beings. It is the ugliest act you can do.

And those poor children are so helpless, so dependent on you. They cannot rebel. They accept whatever your idea is.

I come across many mothers and fathers who are so much possessive of their sons and daughters. In the end, this possessiveness brings many miseries in their life.

Death and Detachment: The Fakir’s View

When I will die, there will be no one after me. I am a fakir, and I don’t even think of what will happen when I die—who will take care of my last rituals.

Because when the body is dead, the story is over. What is there to wait for?

The Lawyer’s Story

A few years ago, I had met a lawyer. He was an old man. He said to me, “I lost my two sons in a road accident. They were very young. I am now alone. But I don’t have to worry. I have made arrangements for my last rituals. There is a young boy whom I have raised. He will take care of my last rites.”

Now this is how people remain attached.

Why do you have to make arrangements? Why?

Can you not just let God take care of all your worries?

The Way of the Ketuish Man

But intellectual men are always looking out for making such arrangements. While a Ketuish man is least bothered about what happens when he is dead.

He is not even going to make any arrangements for the last rituals. Because he is perfectly aware that someone will find money in his pocket and use it for his last, final rituals. Either they will burn him or bury him.

So why the heck should he worry?

The Master Who Said, “Surprise Me”

Reminds me of a beautiful story.

There was a great master. His name was Ikasu. He was a very extraordinary human being of great innocence and joy. He loved to laugh and dance and sing.

One day, when he was going to die, his disciples asked, “What are we going to do with your body? Because you have lived such an unconventional life, we don’t know whether to bury or burn you. What are we supposed to do?”

And the dying master opened his eyes, laughed his last laughter, and said,
“Surprise me.”
And then he closed his eyes and died.

Even in Death—Innocence

This is the way of the innocent.
Surprise me. Even in death, there is innocence. Even in death, there is laughter.
Even in death, there is no complaint.

He is waiting to be surprised.
Whether you burn him or bury him—decide yourself.
But make it a surprise. Don’t ask it. Don’t follow any given instructions, because then it will not be a surprise at all.

If I say bury me or burn me, then I will already know about it.

You have to keep a certain surprise element in your life.

The Surprise Element of Life

So if you are childless, then naturally this surprise element remains. You don’t know who is going to do the last rituals for you.

And if you truly are an evolved soul, then does that really matter?

An evolved soul simply sets out on his or her next journey—the journey towards the beyond.

It is said that many souls desire a place in heaven after death. However, Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi specifically mentions that heaven is a very ordinary place to be.

“Heaven is a wastage of time,” quotes Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi.

Illusions About Heaven and Family

Just the way people think that heaven is the only place to be, similarly common men think that to complete their family, a child is needed—or to be precise, a son is needed.

When in reality, these ideas are your illusions. There is no reality to it.

Childless men have attained moksha much faster than those who have children—simply because there is no child to get attached to.

Moksha and the Trap of Attachment

However, those who have children can also attain moksha provided they stop being possessive of their child and stop getting attached with their child.

The whole thing comes down to one word, my fellows.
And that one word is: attachment.

Attachment drives you birth after birth, and you remain where you are—miserable and lost in this vast human world.

Let me tell you: even if the Guru or the Master is with you in physical form, still the Guru cannot help you overcome your attachments unless and until you start making efforts—efforts to turn inwards and realize the futility of attachments.

Who Progresses Spiritually?

A man who is not much affected by not having children can progress on the spiritual path.

However, a typical woman or man who is constantly thinking about his or her separated child, or is feeling depressed for not having a child, will remain stuck and will again fall in the never-ending cycle of birth and rebirth.

These things are very difficult to digest.
That is why I share it with only a few.

For they will be able to move on and progress on their spiritual path.

A Signal from God

Remember: when you have no child, or when you are separated from your child, and if you are a spiritual person, then it is a signal from God that the child is not meant for you.

You are just a biological father or biological mother.
Beyond that, there is absolutely no karmic balance connected with your child.

So drop the attachment and move on.

However, very, very few are able to do so—and therefore, very few become the Buddha.

Spirituality Is Not What It Seems

Spirituality, therefore, is not as easy as it seems to be.

Just by growing a long beard, applying a tilak on your forehead, and adopting some fancy spiritual name will not bring any spiritual progress to you.

Your appearance may attract a few million people, but how does that help you grow within?

The truth has nothing to do with outer appearances.
Truth has much to do with what lies beneath.

Swami Swarupananda’s Insight

Once it happened, there was a great spiritual master. His name was Swami Swarupananda. Interestingly, he never kept a beard. He always used to have a clean-shaven face.

And let me tell you—he was the greatest spiritual master that the world had ever known. He lived in a small village called Pavas, in Konkan.

A few days ago, when he was about to take samadhi, his disciples invited one person. They thought he had great powers. They thought he was a spiritual master—because his appearance was very attractive. Long beard, big tilak on his forehead.

So they went and asked Swami Swarupananda of Pavas.

And Swami said:

“What you see on the outside is not on the inside.”

The message was loud and clear:
Don’t take this man as a spiritual master.
Because the spiritual avatar that you see in his outer appearance is completely absent within his being.

He is just a spiritual showcase being.

What Is True Sannyas?

Always remember, a true sannyas has nothing to do with outer appearance.

You may roam around in jeans or in short pants, and still, you will be the greatest sannyasi if you have renounced the ‘I’ thought.

Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi quotes:

“Sannyas is only the renunciation of the ‘I’ thought and not the rejection of external objects.”

Who Is the Real Spiritual Person?

The real spiritual person is not the one who says “I have renounced everything,”
but the one who says, “I am not the doer.”

Ramana Maharishi further says:

“Even better than the man who thinks I have renounced everything is the one who does his duty but does not think I do this or I am the doer.”

Even a sannyasi who thinks I am a sannyasi cannot be a true sannyasi.

Whereas a householder who does not think I am a householder is truly a sannyasi.

How beautiful and deep is this quote.

When God Takes Over

When you are not the doer, when you no longer take the credit for doing anything that is good—then God takes over.

And when God takes over, you don’t have to do anything special.
Everything happens in its own accord.

Being childless is perfectly fine if you have a certain depth of understanding.

Otherwise, there are millions and millions of couples having dozens of children.
But are they happy?

They may smile in front of you. But in their bedrooms, they weep like a child—because they suffer at the hands of their own child.

Let Go of Social Pressure

So let us not make this idea of having children as a mandatory thing.

If you are being pressurized to bear a child, and you are not willing to do so, then you must express yourself and not succumb to the pressure of society.

Remember—whatever happens, happens for a reason.
And you still are unaware of that reason.

That is how Jesus says to Peter:

“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

You will understand.
But till then, you should learn to live your life with total acceptance.

Accept the Higher Will

Accept the fact that God wants you to remain childless because there is a much higher purpose to your life which you currently are unaware of.

But later you will understand. You will come to know.

You Are Not a Produc

My fellows, every individual is unique.
It is wrong to compare, and it is wrong to follow the conventions of society.

Because you are not a product. You are not a robot.

You are a living human being. And you are born for a reason.

Always remember this:

You are not born accidentally.
You are born for a special purpose,
which you will understand as you start turning inwards,
as you start becoming more and more meditative,
as you start becoming a man of heart,
as you start surrendering yourself at the feet of the Master.

You Are Here Meaningfully

Always remember:
Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny.
He has something to fulfill.
Some message has to be delivered.
Some work has to be completed.

You are not here accidentally. You are here meaningfully.

There is a purpose behind you.
The Whole—that is, the Universe—intends to do something through you.

And so, always value yourself.

The Seesaw of Life

When there is a certain emptiness in one aspect of your life,
God ensures that the other side of your life elevates to new heights.

It may happen that on one end, you may have no child,
but on the other end, you may have that which millions and millions of people long for.

Always remember:
There is no such thing called a loser.
If one end of the seesaw goes down,
then the other end always shoots up.

The Beauty of the Childless Path

And so, there are many, many childless couples in this vast human world.
They may not have a child,
but they are so beautiful, so loving, and so highly evolved,
that even if they don’t have a child,
many will come to help them. Many will take care of them.

You know why?

Because when you live for others, others will live for you.

A Final Blessing

Paramahansa Yogananda had no child.
He was a celibate.

But there are thousands and thousands who would come to serve him—and that too, out of love.

Yogananda quotes:

“There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness—thinking of others first. When you learn to live for others, they will live for you.”

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is simple and straight:

If you are childless, then it is a sign that you are chosen for a higher purpose.

There is a higher calling—
and it is only when you accept your life in totality
that you will realize the higher purpose,
and then you will be able to respond to this higher calling
that only a few are blessed with.

Love to all my followers.
Stay blessed. And remember to meditate every day.

Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru.