It is said that ‘marriages are made in heaven’. Now nobody has really gone to heaven to check if this is true. Those who have been divorced would readily disagree and those who are still married – would readily agree. So nobody knows the real thing. And the real thing is – marriages are neither made in heaven nor made in hell – marriages are simply made from a special ingredient called ‘KARMA’!
So there we are – KARMA. In the backdrop of arranged marriage – families run around the town to have a perfect ‘setting’ of horoscopes – everything is ‘perfectly’ matched – and yet this so called perfectly astrologically matched marriages – don’t take much time to transform into painful divorces! And then the best person to blame is the astrologer!
And Love Marriage – here is the most funny part – first they fall in love with each other – THEN – the love-couple start visit astrologers to seek and validate compatibility! So it is like first you have a nice honeymoon and then you start evaluating whether marriage would work for you!
“When you love – you simply love!” – Osho
When it comes to LOVE MARRIAGE – my suggestion to all the lovers – is in one line – When you love – simply love and then don’t get into astrological dry calculations – don’t bring astrology between your love – just go ahead and get married! Going to an astrologer – is like bringing in logic – and Love knows no logic – love ceases to exist the moment you bring logic in between – just be love – just feel love – just live love!
When you love a person – you ACCEPT the total person.
Only those men and women can have HAPPY MARRIAGES – who are not in a relationship – but who are ‘relating’ with each other. Relationship closes you – relating is an ongoing process – everyday you are exploring something new by being together.
“Relationship is Ugly, Relating is beautiful.” – Osho
And to ‘relate’ – first you have to become friends. Love is the starting point – but after a few days of honeymoon – what helps you sustain and enjoy the marriage is you becoming friends.
“Love is not a hallucination, it is a moment of high passion, but one cannot remain on the high moment forever. One has to cool down, come back to earth, move on the plains; that’s where life exists. You can fly high in the sky for a few moments but then you have to come back to earth.Before you come back to the earth create friendship because that will last. So love, love as much as possible, but always remember that love has to give space to friendship.” – Osho
Friendship has a higher quality than love. The next step of love is friendship. Friendship is more unearthly. You simply rejoice in somebody’s being, you celebrate somebody’s being for no reason at all; it is very irrational. Love has a rational quality to it but friendship is very irrational.
Marriages are made – based on the quality of your Karma – and that is why – even if you ‘arrange’ everything in the most perfect way – things can really get ugly – leading you to the door of the court!
Millions and millions of arrange marriages have failed – miserably failed – in spite of having world class ‘arrangements’ – from astrology to all sciences – WHY?
The arranged marriage failed because the insistence was that you should love your wife, you should love your husband. And you could not even conceive how you could love; at the most you could pretend, you could act. But love is not a pretension, is not acting. You cannot do anything. You are absolutely powerless as far as love is concerned. The old idea of arrange marriage has failed. And the new marriage is also failing because the new marriage is simply a reaction to the old marriage. It is not out of understanding, but only out of reaction, revolt – ” love marriage”
Love marriage is failing because people don’t know what love is. You simply see some beautiful face, you see some beautiful body and you think “My God, I am in love!” This love is not going to last, because after two days, seeing the same face for 24 hours a day, you will get bored. The same body. You have explored the whole topography, now there is nothing to explore. Exploring the same geography again and again, you feel like an idiot. What is the point? And so ‘love marriages’ are also failing!
“The reason is that you don’t know how to wait so that love can happen. You have to learn a meditative state of waiting. Then love is not a passion, it is not a desire. Then love is not sexual, then love is a feeling of two hearts beating in the same rhythm.” – Osho
If love arises out of harmony, then only will we know a successful marriage life, a life of fulfillment in which love goes on deepening because it does not depend on anything outer, it depends on something inner, it does not depend on the nose, and the length of the nose; it depends on an inner feeling of two hearts beating in the same rhythm!
So the successful happy long lasting marriages that you are referring to – has nothing to do with astrological match-making – else all marriages that were astro-matched – would have been successful! So please understand this – this is of significance – do NOT let yourself drag into this calculative astrology – when it comes to LOVE – when you LOVE someone – and there is a positive response – Just Go For It! – If you succeed in your marriage – you will become a happy husband, a proud father – and if you do not succeed in marriage – then you would become a successful ‘Marriage Counselor’! :))
So why worry and be so analytic – the moment your heart vibrates with ‘someone’ and the moment there is a ‘music’ between two hearts – you know you have ‘arrived’ to the person of your choice, of your fate – of your life!
So let the voice within you guide you – for the voice of the heart never fails you – let your heart decide – when it comes to ‘Marriage’!
“There is a voice within you that doesn’t use words – Listen!” – Rumi
The functioning of two persons in synchronicity – that is marriage. The merging of two hearts into totality – that is marriage.
Astrology match has nothing to do when it comes to marriage – it is the Heart match that has to do *everything* with marriage – and so let the bells ring – only when your heart rings!
Jai Shri Ganesha! Jai Guru!
