Will my wife change? Will my mother-in-law change? I want to know if I can change the persons in my life?

Written By Addittya Tamhankar

She will never change. And this is what we all try to do – we all want to CHANGE the other person and that is the greatest mistake – the greatest irony.

Never try to change others because you can NEVER do that!

A person as long as remains CLEVER – he tries to change the world.

The moment a person becomes WISE – he starts CHANGING himself!

I can understand your pain, I can understand your dilemma. You are caught up in a situation that you can NEVER change! You are caught up with a person who also will never change! What to do then?

Be an Individual. Show some courage and stand out – REBEL – because only an individual can rebel – can speak up – can voice out without fearing of any consequences.

I have seen – and I want to share from the bottom of my heart – that – in offices, at home, at places wherever you will go – there are people who live their whole life by being a ‘SHEEP’ – and then there are people – men and women – who REBEL – who VOICE OUT – who will TAKE RISKS but will NEVER COMPROMISE. These men and women – are the real INDIVIDUALS – they have something in them – and it is called DIGNITY – and the SELF-RESPECT. They are the REAL men and REAL women – men of STEEL – ‘individuals’.

Never tolerate the arrogance and insensitivity of your BOSS. Never tolerate INJUSTICE and never tolerate nonsense people – the more you tolerate the more they will dominate you – this is HOW PEOPLE EXPLOIT – this HOW PEOPLE DOMINATE – they are not responsible – YOU are RESPONSIBLE because you remain mum – you remain silent.

People are running around with their horoscopes to overcome such situations that are caused by their own silence!

What is the astrologer going to do?

Rituals and Remedies will NOT help – your PRACTICAL SENSE – your INDIVIDUALITY – your COURAGE to VOICE your CONCERNS and OPINIONS is what going to matter and help you to overcome this situation.

Just the way for minor scratches and injuries you don’t have to visit a Doctor – similarly for such situations you don’t have to visit an Astrologer and I say it – may be I am the only one who can say it – in spite of being an Astrologer!

Because REALITY is a REALITY. And I live by BEING REAL.

And whosoever is REAL is condemned ferociously – because the SOCIETY can never stand the TRUTH.

Always remember – and I say it to all my genuine readers, followers and fellow travelers – that Society will NEVER like you – IF you are saying the TRUTH! This is the same society who crucified Jesus – this is the same society who caused much trouble to Sai Baba – this is the same society who forced Seeta into exile! You see – the society hates the TRUTH – the society hates the INDIVIDUAL.

Never follow the crowd. LIONS LEAD – Be a Lion. Be a Lioness. Roar and voice your opinion and your thoughts without thinking of what other people will say – that’s being YOURSELF – that’s being an INDIVIDUAL.

Whether you are daughter in law OR a mother in law – if you don’t like to do something than simply SAY IT and BE FIRM on your STAND.


Compromise – the very word is not in my vocabulary. Compromise is ugly. Rebellion is either/or, it never compromises. How can truth compromise with lies?

And so I have always been saying to all those who have been trying to connect with me – that if you are True – I am with You. But if I am True – then you will have to be with me – without any conditions.

Compromise is NOT my game. Only a man who wants to strengthen his EGO – will compromise – a man who is trying to overcome the EGO – will NEVER COMPROMISE.

Always remember – a man COMPROMISES only when HE is AWARE that HIS EGO is being safeguarded!

So the idea that people compromise by dropping their Ego is a total distortion of the reality! People compromise ONLY when their EGO is taken care of!

But a man who is coming closer to the TRUTH – a man who is coming closer to the state of consciousness – will NEVER compromise because he has absolutely NO SELF INTEREST IN STRENGTHENING or MASSAGING his EGO.

It always happens – it has happened with me – because I have NEVER compromised in my whole life and man who NEVER compromises is always labeled as a REBEL!

Be it so – I am what I am – and it is always good to be what you are – that makes you beautiful – because whatever flows naturally is always beautiful!

The difference between a COMMON man and the real individuals is that the individual never bothers about the CONSEQUENCES – he simply fights for FREEDOM, for TRUTH, for LOVE!

And so we have one BHAGAT SINGH in a millions – we have one MAHATMA GANDHI in a million – we have one LOKMANYA TILAK in a million – these and many such great men NEVER bothered for what will happen to them or their family – they simply STOOD UP to their PRINCIPLES – their IDEOLOGY.

Lokmanya Tilak – one of the finest and greatest freedom fighter – who was fondly called as Tilak MAHARAJ! And there is a beautiful story to share….

Once it happened – Lokmanya Tilak was spending his days in prison – the Britishers had send him to jail for he was the most dangerous rebel and the Britishers were afraid that if we let this ‘lion’ give a free hand than he may simply throw us out of power. And so the Britishers put Tilak Maharaj in jail.

But even in the jail, even while in the lock up – Tilak did not stop. The Britishers may have arrested him – but his hands were still free to write!

And so Lokmanya Tilak started writing the Bhagvad Gita – and in that dark prison – in that utter darkness – he wrote one of the greatest simplified version of Bhagvad Gita that could lighten up millions of lives who had faith in him, who followed him and who loved him!

And after many months and days – he completed the simplified version of Bhagavd Gita – and on that day – when he wrote the very last sentence of the book – his joy knew no bounds – there was no light in the prison – it was a dark room but even in that darkness – Tilak could feel abundance of light flowing within his whole being – the book was completed – and he was now ready to rest. But the British officers were very cruel people – the moment they realized that Lokmanya Tilak has scripted a book – they came and they BURNED the whole book – imagine – just imagine what could have happened – how deeply the heart of Tilak would have moved with pain……seeing one of the greatest creation – his labor of love being BURNED before his eyes – imagine what – just image…..even as I write this – my eyes have become wet…..

BUT TILAK was TILAK. Looking at the ceiling of that dark prison and seeing the book burned by the British officers – Tilak said in Marathi – “ Punaccha Shri Ganeshaya” – meaning – “No problem – let me start all over again!”

That was how this GREAT MAN was – what a heart – what a NEVER GIVE UP attitude – how to express this – I am short of words – I am speechless…..a beautiful real picture of the greatest Freedom Fighter – Lokmanya Tilak, I prostrate before HIS GREATNESS….

But the story does not end here.

Lokmanya Tilak then started writing again and after many months and days – he again completed the same book – and by then his time to come out of the prison had come – he was finally released from the prison – and then it is said that the FIRST MAN whom TILAK gifted this beautiful book (Bhagvad Gita) was SAI BABA!

Sai Baba received the first copy written by Tilak and Sai baba blessed his book and Tilak was touched – his eyes became wet – very few words were shared between the two – when hearts connect – words are not required – the ‘communication’ happens in silence! Real communication happens in silence. Deep silence.

Never tolerate injustice. Never tolerate discrimination. Never tolerate domination of others – and NEVER TRY TO CHANGE OTHERS – because other never change – many have tried to change others and they all have failed miserably – because you can NEVER change the world – but you can change YOURSELF.

How to change yourself?

You can change yourself – when you ALLOW change to happen within you!

And you will allow change to happen – only when you *willing* to change!

You see – unless there is an intense WILLINGNESS – you cannot change!

AND once you are WILLING to CHANGE – you are READY. Once the READINESS evolves within you – then NOBODY can stop you from changing.

ACTION comes NOT from our thought – but from our READINESS to ACT – to CHANGE – to TRANSFORM!

And so never think and never wait for OTHER to change – rather get ‘ready’ to change yourself – your husband, your mother-in-law or your wife will never change – but you can change yourself – you can tame your mind and you can be more understanding.

When you love – you simply love! Then you cannot say that “I accept half – and other half need to change” – when you love someone you have to ACCEPT that person wholeheartedly – completely with all his or her good as well as not so good qualities!

But that is not what the husband or wife does! That is not what the girlfriend or boyfriend does – the moment they start living together – they start changing the other person and then the whole essence of love is lost – because love blossoms only when there is total acceptance – total freedom!

That is why I always say that if your girlfriend or boyfriend – if your husband or wife is meditating – then you also should meditate – otherwise you will remain behind while your partner will move ahead on the higher altitudes and then your wavelength cannot match – then the friction will happen!

Relationship or Marriage is like a ‘boat’ – in which both – the husband and wife / boyfriend and girlfriend should BALANCE the ACT – by following same life style – only then the level of ‘understanding’ between them remains the same and as long as the level of understanding is the same – marriage or relationship continues to blossom!

Understanding is not taught in any universities or schools. Understanding is something that one has to learn by turning inwards.

Buddha says “True Love is born out of understanding”!

Changing yourself – means scaling up the level of understanding within you!

To UNDERSTAND everything is to FORGIVE everything – says the Buddha!

The more a person is understanding – the more you like him. The more a person can understand your feeling – the more you share with him. The more a person appreciate your sharing – the more you connect with him. You see – everything comes to understanding!

And so come, come you all and spend some time in meditation. The matters of this human world are very sensitive – you have to raise your awareness and become more understanding. And to raise your awareness – you all have to meditate.

Always remember – in life you will meet many strange people who will become JEALOUS of your success, who will unnecessary – for absolutely no reason – will try to cause harm to you – will cause to disturb you – but you always have to remain AWARE.

Never let the noise on the outside disturb your inner peace. LET GO. RELAX. And get back ‘home’ – to the source.

Always remember – nothing lasts forever! Change is constant, except change – everything else changes – so just flow with your life, be more understanding and remove the very thought of changing others – because others can never change – BUT – You Can!

Let this beautiful prayer be always with you all – for it can help you to become more and more understanding.

Love & Light to all my readers and followers.

Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru.

Addittya Tamhankar

Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar is a distinguished astrologer and acclaimed author known for his in-depth knowledge and insight into astrology. He has authored over 11 books, including bestsellers on the cosmic entities Rahu and Ketϋ, and his recent works include "Come Back Home - Reconnect to Source Consciousness" and "27 Nakshatras - the Living Legends." Alongside his literary achievements, Acharya Addittya has cultivated a substantial online following, with over 1,000 YouTube videos and a community of more than 40,000 subscribers. His blogs offer enlightening discussions on spirituality and planetary influences, drawing readers and viewers who seek wisdom and deeper understanding of these complex subjects.
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