How to overcome low confidence and negative thoughts?


Confidence comes when you focus on the SELF.

SELF is represented by the SUN. SUN is the source of consciousness – the greater the consciousness the greater is the realization of the SELF.

Consciousness is within all of us – the SUN is within all of us!

Righteousness is represented by JUPITER. It is through the planet Jupiter that you come to the realization of WHAT IS GOOD and WHAT IS BAD for youPeople who make wrong decisions – often have an afflicted Jupiter in their birth charts – simply because they cannot realize what is truly good to their progress in life. They generally make wrong decisions in the early stage of their life – but with time – they mature and start making decisions that are well-balanced.

COURAGE is represented by MARS and KETU. It is through MARS and KETU that you are able to show COURAGE and LEAD the pack. COURAGE comes only when you have CONFIDENCE in your ‘SELF’.

SELF is at the root of one’s confidence. And so SUN is the key – the essential key to – confidence.

Low confidence and negativity has to do more with what path you choose to walk upon. A Truthful man, a truthful woman has nothing to FEAR – for many births and rebirths – such a soul has always been walking on the PATH of TRUTHFULNESS – such a man – such a woman is beautiful – they never have to fear – they don’t know what is fear – they remain strong when the ‘tide’ is low – and they remain humble when the ‘tide’ is high!

Once you start following the TRUTH – once you start becoming a part of the TRUTH – then – then CONFIDENCE comes, then the whole world is available to you – then you are no more the same – you have TRANSFORMED into a beautiful butterfly – the ugly caterpillar has TRANSFORMED into a beautiful butterfly!

But a question may arise – How to get started?

And the answer is simple – get started with ‘Friends’ who LOVE the TRUTH!

COMPANY matters. With whom you are – matters and it matters significantly. SANGHA – or – SATSANGHA enables you to gain confidence. Listening, reading the words of TRUTH – the WORD of GOD – following the light of consciousness – brings a tremendous change and a push to your confidence level. Then you start realizing that – YOU TOO CAN CHANGE – YOU TOO CAN EXPERIENCE THE HIGHER ALTITUDES – that….YOU TOO CAN LISTEN to the melodious ‘MUSIC’ of this wonderful journey called – Life!

Only a man, a woman who is following the WORD of GOD – can live his or her life with confidence, with dignity, with love.

A woman who has been cheating her husband/lover – cannot gain confidence – she may move around with a fake confidence – like a ‘sheep’ in the disguise of a lioness – but she is not the real lioness – the confidence of a ‘LIONESS’ never exists in her – it never can!

A man who has been fooling around the town cannot gain the confidence of a LION – he too is a ‘sheep’ that roams in the disguise of a lion!

CONFIDENCE COMES ONLY WHEN THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO FEEL ASHAMED OF – NOTHING TO HIDE – NOTHING TO MANIPULATE! YOU simply are as you are – you have ACCEPTED yourself in totality. And only a man -who ACCEPTS himself – becomes beautiful! He is NOT afraid of his reality – he is not hiding anything – he lives his life with absolutely no regrets – such a man always wins in the end – such a man is the real man – the real being – he is an ‘individual’ and not just a personality!

Yesterday a young man came and he said “ A girl loves me – but today she told me everything about her past – she has a ‘past’ and I got to know about it when she told me everything…..”

I told him “ She *is* the girl that you should not let go – because she loves you, she has shown the courage to tell you the truth – and a person who is truthful – is rare to find. She is worth it. Do not let her go – let her become a part of your life and your life will definitely blossom into a beautiful flower….”

To be with a truthful woman, a truthful man – is what can make your life a garden of bliss!

And TRUTH requires tremendous courage. The FEAR of losing is always there – the nature of clinging prevents you from being truthful – but then what is the value of such a life – a life lived with lies and fear?

FEAR exists – LOW CONFIDENCE exists – when you are TRYING TO BECOME – when you are NOT happy of BEING YOURSELF.

The first step towards gaining CONFIDENCE is to declare to the skies – your REALITY without feeling ashamed of anything – without hesitating to open up in totality.

Only an open man can be truthful – a closed man is a man of many lies – he is a man who goes on suppressing his feelings, the truths and in the process becomes more miserable than otherwise.

You have to be with an open man – a man who is moving towards the beyond – but such a man may not be appealing to a woman – who is yet to meditate – yet to turn inward!

Once it happened – a young man and he was a meditative man fell in love with a beautiful woman. And love happens – you cannot help. It happened with this young man but after few days he comes to the master and says “ My Girlfriend says – I am cold. I am not hot. She says ‘ I don’t know nothing about love’. She may be right. But please guide…”

Now read those words again – the young man is concluding – he says “She must be right.”

The master smiles and says “She is NOT right, because you are not cold, you are COOL. And it is NOT true that you don’t know love. But people are accustomed to a Hot Love, and in their mind there are only two possibilities – either you are hot about them, or you are cold. They cannot relate to the balanced state – they simply miss.”

Why the Girlfriend of this young meditative man thinks that ‘he is cold?’

Because the young man has gone way ahead – through meditation he has moved on to the higher altitudes of love – while his girlfriend has been left behind! She is not growing in meditation – the young man is growing and so the ‘distance’ is growing between them – either the girlfriend has to catch up by being more meditative or the distance can eventually lead to a break up – because when there is NO RANGE – the ‘call’ always disconnects!

But the matter does not END here – because the young meditative man had said that ‘Maybe she is right.’

It seems that the girlfriend has become more powerful in making him think – that she is right – it is indeed a very unfortunate situation for a man who is growing in meditation but is giving up to a woman who knows nothing about meditation!

Now either he can help her to move into meditation or else she will destroy him in totality. And convincing her to move into meditation is not an easy task – every woman – every girlfriend in the very beginning throws many tantrums – she will throw pillows on you – she will try to disturb your meditations because she understands that you are slipping out of her hands – she cannot possess you anymore – meditation has given you a freedom that is beyond her understanding and she just can’t stand it – Socrates’s wife also used to disturb Socrates when he used to teach his students. Socrates was a meditative man, deeply meditative. One day his wife pour boiling water on his face – and burnt his half face for his whole life. He was teaching his students – and you will now understand what ‘coolness’ is – he simply wiped the water on his face and continued with what he was teaching.

Now the students who were witnessing all of this were shocked – they thought – how can this woman behave like this? And even if she had to – she would have done it when we were gone – at least not before us! And so now all the questions that they had come up with were forgotten and the only question that remained in their head was – WHY? WHY the master – Socrates – such a great wise man has not taken any note – of this strange behavior of his wife? Why he has not reacted or responded. Why and how can he be so COOL?

And Socrates smiled and said “ “Whatever she is capable of doing she has done. And whatever I am capable of I am doing. Our capacities are different – this nobody’s fault.”

Socrates is not angry with his wife, on the contrary he is very compassionate.

He further says “Any woman would have done the same – because I am continually concerned with my students, with philosophers coming from faraway places to visit me, and I am discussing things in which is not interested at all. Sometimes the whole day passes and I don’t have any time for her. She is a poor woman and she is behaving just as any unconscious human being is supposed to behave.”

It happens. It always happens – when the partners are not at the same level of consciousness – the friction happens – and it is always one sided – because the other side – is always COOL – compassionate and understanding!

But when both the partners – the husband and wife or the girlfriend and boyfriend are meditative beings – than the BALANCE blossoms – the relationship becomes more beautiful – then there is a song to it ,a dance, then life becomes a garden of bliss!

When you and your partner grow together in meditations – then it has a beauty of its own. No conflict is seen. When couples grow together – hand in hand, dancing the same dance – singing the same song – as they grow together the understanding also grows – then there is no trouble. But IF they both are not growing together then the one who is left behind feels offended – then he or she goes on creating troubles.

The young man realized his mistake. At least he should have tried to help his girlfriend grow along with him – at least he should have helped her to initiate meditations – because when you are in a relationship – you should try to see there is a BALANCE – and BALANCE is possible only when you and your partner – both meditate – both self realize the significance of meditations!

When you become meditative, when you become a prayerful man or woman, when you devote a certain time to your daily meditations and when you remain FIRM on the path of TRUTHFULNESS – Confidence comes naturally – the greater the willingness to remain DETACHED – the greater is the depth of SELF-CONFIDENCE.

It is only when you remain ATTACHED that you FEAR of losing – and this FEAR then prevents you from BEING TRUTHFUL – and once you move away from the path of truthfulness – you start losing on confidence – and your body then starts attracting negativity.

Always remember – Life is a flow. In this flow – one comes across many experiences – one goes through many relationships – many people – many situations – DO NOT SUPPRESS those experiences – Suppression is Suicide – Expression is Life.

When you express yourself freely – when there is absolutely no HIDING – then LIFE is STRAIGHT – and a STRAIGHT PATH always makes everything STRAIGHT in your life!

A young woman had been through multiple relationships – they all failed – but she remained open – she would not hide her past – only that woman hides her past who is NOT willing to FACE and ACCEPT her failed relationships. She is afraid of sharing her failures and so she goes on suppressing herself – which in turn impacts her confidence levels.

A woman who has ACCEPTED her PAST – has nothing to HIDE – she opens up – she looks confident – there is absolutely NO GUILT – such a woman understands life – she succeeds in her life because whatever she have been through – she never REPRESSES – she never HIDES – she ACCEPTS – and only a person who ACCEPTS her or his PAST can move on – and it is only when you move on that you can progress in life with confidence.

It all begins with being TRUTHFUL. If you had done certain mistakes – so what? You simply accept your mistakes – learn from it and move on…

By being TRUTHFUL to yourself – you are able to being TRUTHFUL with others and that makes a huge difference in your life – a significant positive difference.

People are looking into horoscopes to find out the REASON for their LOW confidence – their NEGATIVITY – and this is the GREATEST IRONY of mankind.

Horoscopes are nothing but a REFLECTION of WHAT YOU ARE. Horoscope is just a representation of – WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FROM MANY BIRTHS AND REBIRTHS – repeating the SAME mistakes again and again and again – until a day comes in your life – when you start turning inwards – when the divine intervention of the benevolent master – brings AWARENESS to your being – then – only then the repeating cycle of mistakes stops – the vicious cycle of IGNORANCE is finally brought to end – and with this end – the new beginning – the new sun rise – the new direction to your life comes and then there is no looking back – the road is clear and you are ready to walk the talk.

Once it happened, a young prince came all the way to meet the Mahavira. And Mahavira used to live in a forest, beneath a tree – and there was no question of having any clothes because he roamed naked. There was no question of food because a little help from the forest trees was enough to take care of his body. And there was nobody with him, he lived alone….nobody knew about his whereabouts – but the young prince had found the way, it happens , it always happens – when the master wants you – you find HIS way! And so the young prince had found the way towards the master, he came, he bowed before the master and said “ I have renounced everything – now I have decided to not to go back to my Palace – I have left behind all the luxuries of the Palace, all the pleasures…..I have left forever… please don’t let me go back, I don’t want to go back, I had enough, now I want to live the rest of my life at your holy feet…..Master…..”

Mahavira was listening but his eyes were closed. A certain fragrance lingered around Him….his glow, his peace…..his aura – the young prince was deeply touched by just being in the omnipresence of the Mahavira.

Mahavira smiled. He said “ If that is what you want then be it so. You can stay with me.”

The young prince’s joy knew no bounds – there was nothing else that he had wished for. His wish was granted, he was let in.

But life in the forest is not an easy one! In that forest, the young prince somehow spend the first two nights. But it was becoming difficult – sleeping on the hard ground – and there were mosquitoes – many mosquitoes! And in the night the fearful voice of the wild animals….that was too scary….

After spending four sleepless nights – the young prince started missing his luxurious life, the beautiful maids, the servants, the royal bed….

On the fifth night, the young prince could not control himself – he got up – he decided to leave the master…..and as he was about to leave – suddenly the master – Mahavira – appeared before him…..

The prince was take aback – he wondered how the master came all of sudden! He bowed before Mahavira and said “ I cannot live such a difficult life….master….I came to stay with you…..but now I want to leave…..”

Such was the state of his being that his eyes became wet – life in the forest is indeed a very hard life – especially for someone who have been living a luxurious life.

Mahavira smiled, it was understandable. Mahavira also had been a Prince – A prince of a very rich kingdom. He could understand. HE touched the young prince – just a soft touch on the forehead and then left.

The next morning, when Mahavira was seated beneath the tree -the young prince came rushing towards HIM. The prince fell upon the feet of the master and started crying…..

Mahavira – the master asked “Why you cry? You have’t yet left?”

Upon listening to the words of the master – the prince said “ How can I leave you? How benevolent you are, how compassionate….yesterday with your gracious touch – I went into deep trance and in that state I went through my past births and then I realized that in my past birth also I had left you – because I wasn’t able to live the forest life. For luxurious life – I left you last time and this time also I was about to leave you ——but it was your divine intervention – your compassion that prevented me from committing the same mistake again. How can I thank you? Even if I give my whole life to you still it will be not enough…..master…all I am, all that I have – I lay them down before YOU. I will never ever leave you again. Never.” And the young prince never left the master. It is said that he went on to become one of the greatest saint that the world had ever known – AWARENESS can CHANGE YOUR LIFE. It always can.

Life goes on repeating like a WHEEL – unless you become aware – unless you become conscious of your actions.

You have to raise the level of your consciousness by being more faithful,more meditative, and more truthful.

Horoscope is simply the naked truth of all that you have been doing in the last births – this birth and the many births to come.

Horoscope is just a medium that lets you KNOW about your Journey so far and the journey beyond this human life.

The word is – KNOW. Remember this and I appeal to all my followers, – remember this – the word is – KNOW. Whenever you KNOW something – it is known through Knowing.

It is through KNOWING that you KNOW. And so KNOWLEDGE has three dimensions – KNOWER. KNOWN. And KNOWING.

You are standing before a rose plant. You are focused on the rose – you are able to KNOW the ROSE. But you it is one sided – the focus is only on the outside – the focus is only on the ROSE – you may succeed in KNOWING the ROSE – but you remain unknown to your SELF – as long as you remain pointed towards the outside world – the rose – you may know the world – you may know the rose – but that will not help in letting you know about YOUR SELF.

Knowledge reveals only the Known. The knower (your self) remains unrevealed.

And the whole essence of meditation is to help you know the knower (your self)!

The Buddha way is to forgot the ‘rose’ and focus on the ‘knower’ (yourself)!

When you look at the rose – you REMEMBER who is looking at the rose. And when you start remembering your self – the focus on the rose changes from outward to inward – and when you turn inwards – a time comes when the KNOWING (rose) is forgotten and the KNOWER (your self) is also forgotten and that is the ultimate stage of Buddha hood – a deeply meditative state of experiencing ONENESS – advait!

Buddha encourage this way of meditation – in the modern world it was again re-introduced in the form of ‘self-remembering’ – when you remember your self – the focus changes from KNOWING to KNOWER and that is the real beginning of your spiritual journey – that is when the ‘buds’ within you start flowering – start blossoming….

Like the rose – your focus is too much on your HOROSCOPE. And that is where you all go on missing. The focus should change from KNOWING to KNOWER – and that is YOUR SELF! The focus should be to look within – because what is on the outside is NOT REAL – what is in the inside is REAL and my whole effort is to help you all bring face to face with the REAL – YOUR ‘SELF’.

But people don’t get it. And the majority is shallow. They keep on emailing me asking about this house and that house – why this house and why that yoga. They are simply focused too much on the ROSE (Horoscope) – they are focused too much on ‘KNOWING’ – and in this futile process of ‘knowing’ they have completely missed to KNOW THE SELF – themselves! And they should not be blamed for this – because nobody has ever let them realize the fact that KNOWING is secondary – REALIZING THE SELF – is primary! And so they have been following the ROSE – and have completely lost the TOUCH – with themselves – now tell me and I ask to my close followers – tell me – how can I respond to their emails – they will not understand my language.

But to you all – my close followers, readers and men of meditations – to you all – I say and I say it again and again that the FOCUS should not be in KNOWING – the FOCUS should be on the KNOWER – that is YOUR SELF.

The human world has always been focusing a lot on the logical mind – the conscious mind – the intuitive mind is always ignored. It becomes headache for me when people with razor sharp logic come to me and start analyzing everything with their sharp logic – the essence is lost – it is simply lost.

With their RATIONAL MIND – the go on dissecting every part and parcel of astrology – of human life – of religion – of spiritualism and then they ask “ Why am I not getting the ‘answers’? Why am I not being able to experience GOD?

How will you? When your whole life you have been spending on rationalizing everything – analyzing everything…..

You miss to realize the GIFT of GOD – the gift of consciousness and you go on focusing on the OUTSIDE – how will you ever be able to realize the TRUTH – there is absolutely no chance – because the way is not on the outside but inside!

And so come you all – come and focus on the inside – real growth happens always when you focus WITHIN – when you start turning inwards – when you start meditating – when you start transforming into a prayerful person – then everything comes your way – then you are no more interested to KNOW the horoscope placements and what is good and what is bad – then you are simply interested to KNOW yourself – then you simply focused in knowing the knower – and that is YOU – your SELF!

How beautiful is all this – life is short – and with days passing by – it is becoming shorter – do not let this life pass by focusing on the outside world – by focusing on the planets and the yoga and what not – the mind is super calculative – but I am for the HEART – the HEART is beautiful – your heart is also beautiful – everybody’s heart is beautiful – what comes in between you and your heart is the MONKEY MIND – the DIRTY MIND – the CUNNING MIND.

And so I am for all those who think less and FEEL MORE, you cannot deceive a man of heart – he quickly realizes who is REAL and who is FAKE!

And the whole story of this human life is to SELF REALIZE THE REAL. And the REAL is within each one of us – the more you ‘swim’ within – the more you would become REAL and the society always dislikes the REAL – because the REAL can make you wise – and the society would never want to have wise men and wise women – because then how can they exploit you – how can they loot you?

Always remember – there is no teacher and there is no student, there is no teaching. I am not here to teach anything – I am here to simply share something beautiful that which has happened with me – those who can relate – can benefit – those who cannot – will continue to condemn me – it is the old tradition of this human world – the TRUTH has always been condemned – though it is only the TRUTH that has remained.

The ‘SELF is the GURU’ says the Bhagavan – Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi. This SELF is consciousness – and the divine master is also the CONSCIOUSNESS! The moment you realize the SELF – the CONSCIOUSNESS – you connect with the master. THE SELF is the GURU – beautiful – as always the compassionate master shares one of the rarest of rare diamond with us and it is truly beautiful! Touched.

People want the TRUTH – but when the TRUTH is shared they CANNOT digest it – because their MIND won’t let them. TRUTH needs NO INTELLECTUALISM – it simply needs a HEART that loves – a HEART that drives the MIND – and the HEART is intelligent – it can FEEL – and it is only when you FEEL that you start transforming into a beautiful flower!

No thoughts. No thinking. No Mind – and then you can FEEL.

You are TOO MUCH into your head – and I am saying this to all my followers – you have been taking everything that you come across – with so much of seriousness that you have forgotten the fact that life is not static – it goes on changing – CHANGE IS CONSTANT. Unburden yourself – breath – just breath and enjoy the moment – because life flows through moments – you always remember the moments and not the days!

The WORLD is nothing but an EXTENSION OF YOUR MIND! YOUR MIND IS YOUR WORLD. Rise above your MIND and you will be able to RISE ABOVE THE WORLD – then there will be no burden – because the very feeling of being burdened is of the MIND – overcome the MIND – and you find your freedom. Then you will be able to FEEL more – and it is only when you can FEEL that you can relate to the Master. If you go to a master with all kinds of thoughts, those thoughts will function as Walls and not Bridges. To connect with the master – you need to build bridges and not walls – as long as you think too much – you may go on missing. Only those who feel can connect. And once the contact starts happening, then it takes you on the greatest journey of your life – the greatest adventure – the greatest ecstasy. And it is beautiful….

Life always gives you a CHOICE – you can either be like Judas or you can either be like Jesus! You can either go on THINKING and THINKING and putting your HEAD in every matter of life – OR – you simply go on feeling – vibrating with the existence!

When Marry Magdalene pours the most expensive perfume on Jesus’s feet – Judas objects. He is a man of intellect – he cannot understand – he cannot relate to the deep love that Marry Magdalene has for Jesus! He argues with Jesus – he says “ The money from this expensive perfume would have feed the whole town.”

Jesus says “ In deep love, she has pour the perfume on my feet – I cannot stop her – I couldn’t stop her. The town will be there even when I am gone – but I will not be in physical form forever – in deep love – not finding a way to express her love – she has expressed it by pouring this perfume – I could not stop her.”

Jesus could feel. Judas could not. This human world is divided in two parts – Jesus and Judas! And it is up to you all to decide on which side you are! What you choose is what you become!

Meditation is the journey from the Mind towards your heart. It begins from the MIND – the mind should be turn inwards and then slowly slowly the mind merges with heart and then the work is over – it is a long journey – the journey from Mind to the Heart – someday it has to begin – millions and millions of souls are born every moment around this world – and millions die without knowing the essence – the true purpose of this human life. Even one in a million WAKES UP – it is enough – even one ‘candle’ is enough to bring ‘light’ to other ‘candles’ that are yet to be en- lightened!

Always remember – the cause of your miseries is your FEAR. This FEAR goes on killing you everyday. FEAR kills. You have not lived until you have overcome the fear that is within you. It is a chain, a vicious chain. Fear comes due to the nature of clinging. Attachments. Than this Fear gives birth to Doubts. And Doubt is Death. Life begins where Fear ENDS. How will this Fear end?
By letting in more FAITH.

The Greater the FAITH – the lesser the space is for any fear!

Let your FAITH become GREATER than your fears. Let there be more love than doubts. Only then there is a possibility to experience God – only then there is a possibility to live life with self-confidence.

Confidence comes, positivism comes, love comes only when you learn to live your life by being TRUTHFUL – by walking on the path of TRUTH.

When you walk the talk – when you live by following the TRUTH – when your communion is with those who love God, who are truthful beings, devoted beings – only then there is a possibility for you all to GROW. SAT SANGHA – is the key to your transformation – it is said that company matters – with whom you live matters – with whom you are friends with – matters, whom you follow – matters – because at the end of the day – it is the ‘vibrations’ that you receive is what is going to make you or break you.

Mohan asked “ For SAT-SANGHA (communion) How to identify real men of values, men of heart?”

The answer is simple – for that first you have to get REAL! And to get REAL – you have to first JUMP WITHIN – look within and change the focus from OUTSIDE to INSIDE – only then can you find real gems in your life – only then you can listen to the ‘music of your life’ that others can’t – only then can you change your life – t all begins from YOU – YOU have to let change happen – YOU cannot change yourself – the old cannot change itself – it has to give way to the OTHER – and so it is only when YOU SURRENDER to your lord – your master that the change within you is initiated – this is how it happens, this is the way of its happening – the larger question that you all should ask yourself is that – ‘Are you ready to surrender?

If you are – then let me tell you from the bottom of my heart – nobody can stop you from being what you are – nobody can block you – the whole essence is in living your life in total surrender – that is what Arjuna did – that is what Ananda did, that is what Sariputa did – that is what Peter did – that is what John the baptist did – and that is what you can also do…..everything is available – and everything is possible – only if you are willing to take one step towards HIM – only if you are willing to take the backseat and let HIM drive your life.

It is only when you live your life in total surrender – that you can meditate. And it is only when you meditate that you can come to your own self realization.

The need of the hour is to meditate.


Jai Shri Ganesha. Jai Guru.

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar

Acharya Addittya Tamhankar is a celebrity Astrologer and internationally acclaimed author of 9 books with two best selling books on Rahu and Ketu. His latest internationally published book is on Retrograde Planets titled “Essence of Retrograde planets”.
Find solutions and remedies and know your future prospect. Consult renowned internationally acclaimed Vedic Astrologer – Acharya Addittya Tamhankar.
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